Loud and Proud!

Writing about my grandchildren and putting my “boastful” pictures on my  Facebook page makes me very proud, very grateful but also very wistful.

The whole issue of children is a big one for me, having had six of them!

Interestingly it is a long time since anyone questioned the fact that I have six children, but recently someone “sniffed”  and  said that “ I was “naughty”! having such a big family!

Well of course I took no notice, the person knows nothing about me or my background and actually was of no consequence to me. But it did make me reflect on the reality of being a mother t of six..

I cannot pretend to have been a good parent, I was a  pretty crazy damaged disturbed freak for most of my teens and early adult life.

I escaped from an abusive home into a violent and unsuitable marriage, aged seventeen when I was not even in command of my own senses.

My ex- husband and I should never have had children together,we were both inadequate to the task,  but we did -  and when he left , I was alone with six children under twelve, no money, no family and very little clue!

The fact that they survived is no doubt more by luck than good management,most of what I have learned about childcare was learned long after they had grown up !

But I DID and DO love them more than my life, and I am in awe of their resilience and achievements.

There may indeed be a lot of them, but  I supported them in whatever way I could, I didn’t claim benefits, I did a variety of crap jobs, many things  I hated.

I  may have made quite a carbon  “footprint” etc. etc.

But I prefer to look at how many people will benefit from my large and wonderful family.

My eldest daughter is a seasoned psychotherapist, who  I KNOW has helped many many people. She is also a great Mother.

My son served his country in the Coldstream Guards, and is now an engineer, - He also is THE most supportive and caring husband of a desperately ill wife.He is an inspiration.

Another son is a Senior University lecturer, has educated many young people, and in his “spare time” is also a qualified psychotherapist.He also voluntarily mans Gay switchboard. 

My next daughter is Assistant Head in a large London school, where she passionate about education for everyone, and has supported so many kids. She is honourable and kind.

My youngest son, despite being chronically disabled fought for his  degree in sound management, is a fabulously talented young man but more than anything his acceptance of his illnesses, his gentleness and his humour  makes everyone around him feel like a better person.

Had my older son lived beyond his nineteenth year, he would, I know,  have made a wonderful life, he was funny,  compassionate and fair, would have been a great social  worker perhaps, and a wonderful father.I know from his many friends how he touched lives.

My oldest Granddaughter, about to go to University to study Maths with a view to becoming a teacher, took a gap year and volunteered to work with very poor children in Bolivia.My Grandsons I am sure will shine as much.

So I am not in the least bit worried about having been “naughty” having my lovely big family - because if the chaos theory is correct and the flap of a butterfly’s wing in India can affect  a hurricane in Mexico- Then my children have affected and will continue to affect a great many people and be a great source of good in the World. - and of  that I am very proud.