Sue Cox

Sue Cox

Monday 24 February 2014

ROMAN PANTOMIME

This is from Ray Mouton, I could not improve on hie words to describe the pantomime which has taken place in Rome this weekend! Francis showing very clearly how concerned he is about the issues of clergy sexual abuse of children, and the UN's recent ruling regarding the vatican's abysmal record in dealing with it, by not even having it on the agenda! 

Am I surprised ?-NO! 

Is it a disgrace? -YES! 

Will they EVER change?- Never in a million years ! Unless they are MADE to - cornered like rats in a trap! Lets keep up the pressure and corner them even more!




185 Cardinals gathered in Rome this week.
They greeted 19 new Cardinals named by Pope Francis and set about work in what Vatican observers called "the most critical week of Pope Francis' papacy."

Examine the agenda and decide for yourself whether there was anything critical about the Cardinals meeting in Rome this week.

As is the way of the Church, there were "closed door sessions" scheduled where Cardinals discussed issues.

High on the agenda was the Vatican Bank scandal for the bank is embroiled in money laundering investigations.

The Cardinals also went behind closed door to discuss issues like contraception, cohabitation, gay marriage, and whether divorced and remarried Catholics can receive communion.

CLERGY SEX ABUSE OF CHILDREN AND MINORS BY PRIESTS AND THE COVER UP OF THESE CRIMES WAS NOT A SUBJECT ON THE AGENDA.

No Catholic will ever know what was said by a Cardinal representing their country, nor will all Catholics know what the consensus of the Cardinals were on these subjects as everything in the Church is always secreted away from the faithful who are supposed to pledge blind allegiance to the hierarchy without knowing what the hierarchy is thinking, saying or doing behind closed doors. This is not the middle ages.

*** Importantly, these closed door meetings are by definition meaningless, as the real discussion of these issues is scheduled for another meeting of Cardinals in the fall. This week only involved "Cardinal chit chat."

Pope Francis also asked the hierarchy in each nation to provide feedback ahead of time about the attitude of their flocks; the blunt responses so far have already made public the sort of views that many church leaders would prefer to ignore or only speak about privately.

“There is a big gap between the Vatican and reality,” the Japanese bishops wrote in a frank assessment, published on Wednesday, of the views of their flock on contraception and related topics.

And the church is not helping matters, they added: “Often when Church leaders cannot present convincing reasons for what they say, they call it ‘natural law’ and demand obedience on their say-so,” the bishops wrote.

Bishops in other countries have found similar results when they surveyed the faithful. They have stirred debate not only by publishing the results but by calling for — as German and Swiss bishops did — “a new approach concerning Catholic sexual morality.”

The bishops of England and Wales were among the first to survey the pews but recently decided to keep the results secret, prompting sharp questions from some in the church. “It is somewhat bizarre to consult the faithful on matters of doctrine and then not to tell them what the consultation amounted to,” wrote the editors of The Tablet, a leading Catholic periodical.

In the U.S., some bishops have decided to poll their dioceses, but many have not, and it is not clear what information the American bishops gave to Rome about the attitudes of American Catholics, or how accurate and reliable the information is as "all" Catholics were not given these questionaires.

Right! Pope Francis asked Bishops to distribute questionnaires and some bishops did this and others did not, and some bishops were open about the results and others hid the results.

Those proposals and any response from the pope will remain secret for now, said the Vatican’s top spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi.

Lombardi also confirmed that the Council of Cardinals (the 8 hand-picked advisors to Pope Francis) had scheduled a meeting for late April, in addition to the one set for July, in an apparent effort to push ahead with changes to the rest of the unwieldy Vatican bureaucracy before the momentum stalls.

Part of the problem, said longtime Vatican journalist John Thavis, is that there is so much to do and Francis has appointed so many groups to do it that “the Vatican is experiencing a virtual gridlock of commissions, councils and consistories.” In addition, the Vatican has hired several outside consulting groups to provide feedback on fixing the systems.

“If I had to predict,” Thavis wrote on his blog, “I’d say that the framework for reforming the Vatican’s economic affairs and in particular the Vatican bank will come first, and changes in Roman Curia offices will take shape much later” (changing the Roman Curia, the bureaucratic machinery in the Vatican is the top priority of Pope Francis). 

Francis “has started reforming the Curia but this is a process that will take some time and the reforms will need to be carefully examined,” Italian Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re, a longtime curial official, told the Vatican Insider website.

Those proposals and any response from the pope will remain secret for now, said the Vatican’s top spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi.

Ironically, this pope who maintains that he wants to streamline Vatican administration, has in one short year, appointed more councils, commissions, consistories, and announced plans to appoint more commissions - more than his predecessors created in 25 years, insuring gridlock at the highest level of the Church.

For those who follow this page, it is only worthy of note that on this first occasion when Pope Francis assembled his Cardinals, clergy sex abuse was not on the agenda, despite the United Nations recently condemning the Vatican and demanding that the Pope punish the thousands of bishops who have covered up crimes.

Thursday 20 February 2014

RED HAT- NO MORALS !



Well Vincent Nicholls is heading  off to Rome to be made a Cardinal ! I can’t help wondering how these people are chosen? It seems that the more duplicitous  they are or indeed the more “insipid”, the more likely a candidate they become.
This man has a lot of “baggage”, his record with abuse Survivors is abysmal and bordering itself on the abusive.
This  is a huge slap in the face to those who have been battling against the church in England for many years, only to be disregarded, lied to, and at best patronised by this man.
I remember  many years ago, the sum total  of his interest in my own abuse was to send me a letter telling me he would pray for me! It made good fuel  for my fireplace! 
In the week when yet another victim of these people committed suicide after waiting for years for justice, this creep  is being rewarded , presumably for his lack of compassion and loyalty to a crumbling narcissistic archaic organisation.
During the papal visit in 2010 he ran around like a headless chicken trying to defend the criminal Benedict, but because of his lack of principals and  rather pathetic command of  language, the most he could manage was to whine:
“I just wish people could see him close up like I do- they would see he is lovely- he really is” YUK!
He is smarmy and has a most nauseating manner, but that is nothing new with these “ambassadors” of the catholic hierarchy
They say he is being “admitted” to the pope’s “inner circle”, well that in itself rings very big alarm bells! One wonders how many crimes one has to be a party to in order for that to happen! You certainly would not get there for “good works” , "honesty", "integrity" or "decency", that is not the criteria!
He is joining a whole team of dubious creatures, Cardinal Bernard Law, still wanted by the U.S. for his part in the cover ups in Boston.The Archbishop from the Netherlands who after being implicated in the criminal cover ups was whisked away to Rome to be made a Cardinal ! The Papal Nuncio from the Dominican Republic, who procured young boys (three at a time) for his bed,  who is wanted for extradition by that country and Poland, but who has “suddenly” become a citizen of Vatican City who tell us   they are “very sorry” but vatican law doesn’t allow for extradition!
 There are many many more skulking away in the vatican,hidden,  protected and privileged.
He is joining the ranks of  Misogynists, Homophobes and Narcissists, and I believe he will fit in very well.
It is disappointing that along with their ridiculous red hats cardinals don’t get to live permanently with “Il Papa” because we will unfortunately continue to be subjected to this man in our country where he is neither use nor ornament.
In England there is a rude playground saying: "Red shoes- No drawers"!
But for Vincent it must read:
"RED HAT- NO MORALS" 

Friday 14 February 2014

Happy Valentines!


Happy Valentines day everyone!
I have had several people say to me over the last few days that they  think Valentines day is stupid, a waste of money, all hogwash and just a money spinner for card manufacturers! 
Well all of that may be so, but I can't help feeling that ANY day that gives me an opportunity to tell MY valentine how wonderful he is should not be passed up.
All the radio requests today and messages I have seen on FB seem to say that they have the best partner in the world, but I know of course,  that cannot be true because I have have got him!
My husband Gez is an unsung hero, he is my rock and my comfort and his qualities are too many to count.
He "found" me thirty years ago and we knew we could not live without each other from that moment. (slushy eh?) But true.
He saddled himself with me, and all my baggage, I had six kids, he had none, I had been married to someone violent for years, he had several nice girlfriends, I think most  men would have run a mile!  He married me and has looked after me ever since.
He was there when my son died, when my daughters got married, when my other son "came out" as a gay man, and when one had a terrible illness.
He camped out in the hospital when I had an  operation, never leaving my side - to the extent that the nursing staff  had to feed him , he even bought a book about my condition so he knew what to do to care for me!
He listened to me recount the details of my abuses on National Television, and never flinched,  and was there by my side when I went to Rome and met my Survivor family. He hears me rant and scream about the injustices and supports me with the fight.
He was in the vatican to hear Lombardi waffle and lie, and does a wonderful impression of him! He cried  with me when we heard the horrific stories from our  deaf Verona friends, and loves them like I do. He has embraced my Survivor family as well as my own children.
He created my garden, so I would have a place of "peace" to come home to,  and he cooks beautiful meals for me as I work such long hours and would probably not bother eating!
He paints beautiful pictures for me of places and people I love, and recently he disappeared for a morning without telling me, because he had been to Nick's grave and cleaned it with acid to make it white again, because he knew I hated to see it fade.
He makes me laugh and dries my tears, and I KNOW he would die for me!
 So the dozen red roses I had from him this morning were beautiful, but not a patch on all the other gifts he gives me.
He is a fabulous cook, an amazing artist, and a brilliant drummer!
Of course, when I met him I didn't know any  of this, I just thought he had a lovely smile and a very nice backside!

Sunday 9 February 2014

I await your call Francis




Well,  its seven thirty in the morning, and I have just been on the radio again regarding the UN report. This time of course it was a religious programme because it is Sunday morning!
There has been a frenzy of activity from the media this week, some brilliant, some dreadful, some entirely missing the point or talking to the wrong people.
(It’s amazing how many people have opinions on what happens, like reporting on a Tsunami from a safe 100 mile distance!)
The press  all seem to have the same questions, and then they wheel out a member of the clergy or “catholic voices”  to respond to what we say “For the sake of balance” apparently!
Balance? - right!
Rather like the stock statements from the vatican, these people also have their script, honed to a word perfect response, coached and primed.
“This is NOT happening now”! this is a thing of the past and we are ashamed and saddened”
“What about the new spirit of openness  that pope Francis is fostering?”
Why don’t we people recognise all the measures they have put in place to safeguard children?
What about all of the “good” priests”?
What about all of the church’s “good” work?
What about the commission to investigate clergy abuse that pope Francis intends to form?
All of this on top of the inevitable questions about what happened to me in detail regarding being raped by one of these “men of god” which they always like repeating.
Of course, this is my choice, I realised  a long time ago that if I were to be open about my background, if I were to be involved in this fight, then I would inevitably be asked these questions.
I chose to be a part of the fight, so I have to  accept the rough along with the smooth .
And it IS a fight! It is still a very much  an “Us and Them” dialogue - how can it not be when the catholic church continues to defend the indefensible, when they continue to justify their part in these crimes, when they refuse to acknowledge their culture is part of what makes these kind of abuses almost inevitable.
So I decided this morning to CHALLENGE this “new pope” 
I challenge you Francis to put ME AND TON on your “new” investigation commission! We are well qualified, we have been activists and advocates for years! and there is very little about clergy abuse we haven’t had to face! Maybe we should also add one of our Italian deaf Survivors - they have never had a voice! 
The UN in their absolute wisdom told you that you should “include survivors groups when you create this commission” So do it NOW
Don’t wheel in the usual “victims”, carefully selected  from those who still rather sadly have some loyalty to your organisation, -  that is not ” balanced! “ 
Don’t tell us “victims” are  being consulted but you don’t want to name them because of the need to “protect” them! Survivors don’t want to be silenced! You have done that to us for centuries!
We want to shout from the rooftops what has happened to us,and why things need to change, we have been gagged and threatened for ever,  and now we have found our voice we will  use it!
In fact don’t consult “victims” at all ! Talk to SURVIVORS! Talk to those of us who have escaped and have committed ourselves to empowering other survivors worldwide.
Talk to those of us who have no other agenda other than JUSTICE, for ourselves and for future generations. 
WALK THE WALK INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY TALKING THE TALK!
And get on that phone and tell us when you would like us  to start, we are here ready and waiting and dying to get this justice wagon rolling. 
I know you can use a phone because your PR machine plastered you all over the media after trying to telephone nuns to say “Happy New Year” I think you have even discovered "selfies" - try making better use of that phone!

So that is the Challenge pope Francis, get on that mobile and give us a ring, we will happily be part of your commission and begin the process of, honesty and integrity and justice for all abuse survivors and future generations of innocent children.
If that is REALLY what you are planning, I will expect your call!
Sue Cox 0781 380 8026 

Saturday 8 February 2014

It's Not Fair!


Well what a result! So good that all of our hard work with the UN has actually borne fruit.!
For Survivors of clergy abuse, this is a rare and new experience! We are so used to being disregarded, dismissed, lied about abused again and again by this narcissistic church that it is quite overwhelming to be championed by the UN CRC in such a magnificent way!
They absolutely did the right thing, and are standing up and being counted, what an historic turnabout! 
There are those  who will cynically say "But will they DO anything?"  and they are right, of course, actions are a lot  louder than words, and after centuries of the church pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, it is hard to believe that something will happen to take them to task. 
But this is a brilliant beginning!! The first time a body of such significance has put them right on  the spot  where they belong , shone a spotlight on some of their  sinister dark corners , and has promised to keep the pressure up, and not let them off the hook .
It was overwhelmingly difficult to be in that toxic negative environment which pervades whenever so many of them are in the room together, smug,self satisfied dishonest.
I think it is because it is so important to us, and we are so passionate about this cause that we get so emotional! We have a lot invested in this fight, and it is emotionally draining.There are those there who have at their heart a political agenda, they don't have the same passion, but they are able to stay detached. 
And now like every other Narcissist that is cornered, they have come out spitting and snarling and shouting "It's not fair!!"!!
What the F... do they know about FAIR? they have destroyed innocence for centuries, trampled over human beings and  (LIKE EVERY OTHER NARCISSIST!) have had absolutely NO concerns other than their own preservation.
They say that the report doesn't take into account the "good measures they have put in place to safeguard children in the last decade"! Tell that to the children who are coming forward almost daily to report abuses, tell it to the Italian  deaf survivors who, despite the priests who abused them being found guilty by the "congregation of the doctrine of the faith "  are still in their same ministry- still in the same positions to violate more children! 
They say the report doesn't talk about all the "good work" they are doing in Africa, Asia, South America, more schools, more children's homes etc. WHAT!!
I think it is bloody scary that they are reaching further into these continents, where there is very little policing and they can run amok- I think those countries should be  afraid - be VERY afraid!
We are now in  the age of communication- they can no longer rely on victims to be isolated , either by geography or by their disabilities, they are cornered! And like rats in traps are screaming "It's not fair"
What IS fair is what the UN committee did this week! They made a real start! They paved the way for other Secular organisations to show their revulsion at this appalling organisation and make them be open to scrutiny, to begin to "do the right thing" something they bang on about to others,  placing  themselves on the moral high-ground!
The catholic church will NEVER change of it's own volition, never do anything willingly, they will never do anything unless they are cornered, So the answer is to keep them cornered! 
I am delighted with the brave stance of the UN, and now I wait to see the others follow suit.The European Court of human Rights, the International Criminal Court, we now need YOU to be emboldened by the UN committee and step up!  That would be FAIR!


Sunday 2 February 2014

The Clock is ticking!






       I don't do I don't do "slushy" or maudlin, I am not good at over sentimental, I don't do mystical, "inner child" or "angels"  or "Me  time". I am afraid I cringe at "Everything happens for a   reason" and  "There must be someone watching over me" just makes me nauseous!  It is just not who I am! 
Don't get me wrong, I am happy that others find comfort in these concepts, each to his own - as they say.
 But NOT for me thankyou very much! 
There are few sayings however that filter through my cynical shell and give ME inspiration. I like the ones that make me think, the ones that foster gratitude, or the ones that make me laugh! I like the ones that I can use, the ones that will make a difference to how I act, the ones that don't make me want to throw up!
This is one that I ponder on from time to time.

 Thoughts on Time

Imagine there is a bank, which every morning credits your account with £100,000.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance that you have failed to use during the day.
What would you do?

Draw out every penny of course!

Each of us has such a bank, it’s name is TIME.
Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as a loss whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries no balance,
It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use today’s deposit, the loss is YOURS
There is no going back.
There’s no drawing against tomorrow.
You must live in the present on TODAY’S deposit.
Invest it to get the most from it.
The utmost in Health, Happiness, and Success.
The clock is running…..

I am told that even a long life consists of about 450,000 hours. It feels to me a lot different from "life is short" or "you are long time dead" and all of those other cliches. 450,000 hours! Seems a lot more real.
 If I consider that I have  already had an awful lot of my allotted hours, in fact that wretched church that we are all so damaged by has stolen probably at least 350,000 hours from me , and considering I will probably sleep for about a third of what are left, that leaves me with not that many hours hours to make a difference! (Maths isn't really my strong point!)
That is why I don't spend too much time being slushy,or navel gazing. Nor do I  want to spend too much time fighting a narcissistic church that doesn't give a shit, (although I  have to admit I get a  great deal of pleasure seeing them squirm!) I would far rather spend those hours with like minded people, in  helping my fellow survivors to become empowered, in  seeing  my fellow addicts get recovery , and my family and friends , all the people I love flourishing.
I would like to spend the rest of it being HAPPY!
Hows that for slushy!