Sue Cox

Sue Cox

Tuesday 31 December 2013

Rat of the Year!


Starting the New Year with a slap in the face!
pope frances ! man of the year???? what an absolute travesty!
What an insult! 
What a disgusting slap in the face to all of the survivors of catholic clergy sexual abuse and that  church’s  shameful cover ups! 
And for everyone who fell for their PR spin- SHAME ON YOU ! 
What the hell is wrong with people, are they so desperate and dependent that they need to have ANY kind of figurehead,ANYONE to follow,regardless of how  corrupt or devious ? Are they REALLY so content to be like sheep? cynically used and abused? 
I am absolutely disgusted and insulted by this man’s elevation ,but I am beginning to be more disgusted by those who perpetuate this myth! 
We all have a brain, in fact the human brain is the most powerful complex structure in the known Universe,and  we all have one sitting on our shoulders, what a prize possession! 
It has allowed us, HOMO SAPIENS  to dominate the EARTH!
It has allowed us to change the course of evolution! 
It has allowed us to walk on the moon!
It has allowed us to create beautiful art and music!
And yet so many are prepared, indeed happy, to disregard their own brain and follow a man made narcissistic organisation that  has an opinion on every aspect of our lives, and wields so much power that they have millions held in fear of eternal damnation, exclusion, isolation.
Why would you DO that? Why would you ignore overwhelming evidence, and indeed clear common sense, and allow these people to manipulate you?
What an amazing PR machine they do have! But what  wouldn’t such an obscenely rich most corrupt organisation pay for this gigantic con?  
What else could they do when faced with a spotlight being shone on every sinister corner of their their corrupt organisation? 
They would  do what every other corrupt organisation would do , they would use their enormous ill gotten gains and wheel out their  smiliest faced, charismatic,  thick skinned,   PR man and launch him on the gullible! And then make him “man of the year!” "rat of the year" would be more apt.
If it were not so sinister, it would be laughable.It just shows what  lengths they will go to!
This man is no different from the last,as I keep saying, they just swapped a rat faced snake for a smily faced one -- they are both equally slimy!!
Where is the compassion, humility, even humanity that they purport to preach? 
How  did  their blind followers lose their self respect?  
Why do they disregard their own reason and common sense? 
Do they not see they are being conned?  
Like all narcissists, the church  relies  on the gullibility of others  to feed their enormous and insatiable egos.
And their are thousands who are doing just that!
The only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut off his supply- STOP FEEDING THEM! 
I am so Thankful that I know there are decent honourable  wonderful people in the World, indeed they are in MY World! My family, and amazing Survivors, and like minded decent human beings, they give me hope ,otherwise, listening to this crap, I  am afraid I would despair for the human race.
So in 2014 please!
Use your brain - stop feeding the narcissists!

Sunday 29 December 2013

To whoever passes by


I was looking on our  Survivors Voice Europe website over the Christmas period, and noticing the stats of  people viewing it. I wondered who it was who was reading the website at  Christmas, and what pages they looked at.
 It was a bit worrying to see that there were quite a few hits on the page “Are you having suicidal thoughts” and I  hoped with all my heart that whoever looked at that page got some help and hope from the words therein.
I relate to that  situation, especially at this time of year when everyone seems to belong somewhere, and the whole world seems to be christian!
There were some who saw our article “watch then wriggle and squirm” which talks of the latest vatican PR stunts.I hoped they would support our battle with that vile  narcissistic organisation 
There were others who looked at the page that simply says “Smile” and I hoped they would follow our lead and laugh every day!
We have never wanted anything more than to connect with other survivors, and share a few of the empowerment tricks and tools that we have acquired during our own stories.
We KNOW that people who have survived  after being sexually abused in the worst way by clergy in their childhood are very strong! They would not have got this far without having some pretty awesome skills. Skills they didn’t ask to have, but those honed by adversity and often despair, for their own survival.
We have never felt the need to become “paid workers”, never felt that our own abuses were a ticket to some kind of professional status.We just want to offer our unswerving support and love to those who, like us , have felt that despair and might need a few more tools in their own survival toolbox.
There is no feeling on Earth as rewarding as seeing someone like us emerge from their despair and take their rightful place as a very precious and irreplaceable child of the Universe. 
There is no connection more powerful than to look into the eyes of someone who has experienced  your shame and pain, and felt so alone.
There are services and organisations popping up all over the place ( there always are when there is a tragedy!)  All claiming to have the answer,  all competing for whatever charitable money they deem themselves entitled to.
They go up against other charities for a chunk of whatever little is there to be had. 
They compete with cancer research, homelessness, every disease known to man and starving humanity by the million, and I know that many of them pay themselves a wage , maybe hire some admin staff, finance an office, and travel to every corner of the world to be seen at conferences. Then they have to spend their time chasing more funding to keep those services going, to do more of the same! Inevitably,  people they are supporting, slip further and further down the list of priorities.
I don’t know if any of these services do any good, but either way, we have never seen that as our role, we know  that compassion for our fellow survivors is a great reward in itself.
Not that we have any dislike of money, and occasionally we have had very kind and generous people press some on to us! We prefer not to have it! 
So we will only ever use that for something that directly helps survivors. 
We are not ungracious, but we would far rather have someone’s time, have them share their skills with us,tell people about us, spread the word,  and support us in that way.
We try and make our website a valuable contribution to the recovery of each individual, regardless of where they are in the World.
We may never know them, but that does not matter.
Over the last few weeks I have been asked to endorse a particular therapy, so I would like to say a word about that too.
There are more therapies than there are hairs on our head,some good, some dubious,  each one claiming to be the solution.
Rather than endorse any particular model,we prefer to show people what they need to look for in an authentic therapeutic encounter, and avoid  becoming   a cash cow for some that are not of any use.
We often say if we invented a new therapy and called it “limbic plumb-lining” and advertised it all over the world as the newest latest magic bullet , then we would soon have hundreds of clients! 
And there is no doubt that a few of them might even benefit, but not for any good honest reason. 
There is someone somewhere who has benefitted from every flaky method  under the sun, in fact if you put a bone in someone’s nose and old them to chant twinkle twinkle little star three times a day, there are a few who would swear it had helped them! 
But a handful of   people benefitting from something is never the point.The reality for many is  that the therapist will benefit far more!
I am asked “does that really matter, as long as someone feels they have been helped?” Well yes it bloody well does matter! 
Survivors are precious and important and should hold out for the  very best!
We suggest people look at our page
 “finding a therapist” and see the list of questions they need to ask before they embark on any therapy . 
Does this person  belong to a reputable professional body,with a disciplinary procedure? Do they have codes of ethics and good practice? How long have they studied? Have they taken exams, do they have continual professional development, a confidentiality policy? Have they had experience in this field? Do they have any allegiance to the church? etc.etc.
An authentic therapist will welcome those questions and be happy that you are taking your recovery seriously!
But  then we will get dragged  back to the question of money! 
Of course therapies cost, people have to earn a living, and have spent many years studying. But any therapist worth their salt will have a sliding scale of costs, and should be asked about them. They should also be able to tell you when you don’t need them!
This is  where lawyers can make a difference, by making sure they understand the severity of the damage caused, and fight for enough money for victims of these terrible crimes to be able to afford the best to put them back together, and to choose what they use.
Not everyone needs the same approach, and there is NO  such thing as a magic wand !
If there were, we would all be waving it and everyone would live happily ever after! 
But until there is, and  in the mean time we will continue to speak out against injustice, and add  some more tools to that survival  toolbox, so you can regain your power!
Feel free to help yourself!
And I will keep watching the number of views on that website, hoping that whoever looks at it will get some help, and send warm and encouraging thoughts to anyone who passes by.


Saturday 14 December 2013

Survivors Voice Europe promises no hiding place for the Holy See



On January 16th 2014, Survivors Voice Europe will return to Geneva to attend the public
review of the Holy See as part of the 65th Session of the Committee for the Rights of the
Child. Our evidence at the pre-sessional Working Group in June, resulted in the List of
Issues raised by the UNCRC. The Holy See replied, refusing to comply with specific
requests from the UNCRC and this is our response to their statement.
In order to ensure they can not get away with taking this evasive and contradictory
position, we highlight the discrepancies in their reply and make a number of
recommendations to the UN CRC.

Survivors Voice Europe  says NO  hiding place for the Holy See!

Saturday 7 December 2013

Hitting the nail on the head!

There are times when I am incensed by what others say about the clergy abuse issues, the pussy footing around, the trivialising of it and the naivete. Then there are times when another survivor seems to get into my head and say exactly what I am thinking!!
One such person is my friend John B from Australia, he is working tirelessly and for me always hits the nail right on the head! here is what he has written to the "Royal Commission" going on at present in Australia, I am just copying his words because I couldn't put it better! (Love to you all in Australia!) Sue X


The Royal Commission

Should the Royal Commission investigate the psychological blackmail used against children as a part of the grooming processes leading to sexual and other abuses of children by the religions and their clergy?

The control of the minds of children via the process of threatening with an insurmountable range of lies and deceit is psychological blackmail and child abuse of the worst possible kind.

Controlling the minds of children with fear through threatening them with an eternity in hell as well as total rejection by their entire community and neighbourhood strips away any vestige of personality, dignity and self respect from a child and leaves them in a perpetual state of shock and/or trauma held in permanent place through a perpetual life threat for the rest of their existence. There are no words to describe the horror of this reality; there can only be words of condemnation and rejection on every conceivable moral and ethical ground .

To inflict a child with a trauma that is unresolvable, perpetual and irrevocable for the rest of that persons life unless they comply with the requirements of what we now know and clearly see as an hierarchy with no verifiable evidence for their many claims as deluded, fake and dangerous people willing to engage to the last in a fantasy gone ethically sour and morally toxic a long time ago.

The Catholic and Christian fantasy is a childhood horror story filled with thousands of stories of monstrous crimes over generations towards children.

Crimes that include kidnapping, International trafficking and the sale of children, genocide and political manipulation of entire countries. The psychological torture of entire generations of children to feed the obsessions, vanity and the pockets of morally, ethically and psychologically failed men on every level of humanity at the most basic level of child rearing and causing no harm to others.

Their claim to have control of millions of children's minds is real and yet our governments can see no harm in a culture that is infested with psychologically dubious and damaging fantasies played out on innocent children who can be engaged into committing the most horrendous and devious crimes to defend a claimed good name in the community.

If this fantasy is not brought to and end then the only real chance for many, many years children will have of experiencing a childhood that ensures never again becomes real will become as much a myth as the god that was used against them as children to blackmail and groom them to meet the sexual gratification of their religious and clergy.

I ask the Royal Commission for an issue paper into the psychological effects on children of the ploys, means and methods used to manipulate, control and silence children as was done to so many. If we do not gain a full knowledge of that from this inquiry then we will have failed not once but twice in the most egregious of ways to protect the children of the future.

JohnB


Sue Cox 
Survivors Voice Europe



Friday 6 December 2013

The latest vatican PR stunt!


If it were not so sinister, the latest PR stunt by the vatican would be laughable! In fact one doesn't know wether to laugh or cry at their blatant disregard of their responsibilities regarding centuries of clergy abuse, and the subsequent lies and cover ups. 
Yet another slap in the face to Survivors.
We could have almost predicted their next move, and written the script!
Like all narcissists, their strategies are predictable, the church has only one agenda, and that is its facade. They will protect it at all costs, and step over anyone in the process.
The sickening part of that ,of course,is that , once again like archetypal narcissists, their manipulative skills are well honed, and sadly there are an awful lot of people who will fall for them. 
In the same week that they have refused to comply with the direct request from the UN to answer accusations put to them by Survivors Voice Europe and others  regarding their  evidenced breaches of articles of the convention of the rights of the child, the pope has decided to announce a "commission" to address the safeguarding of children and the abuse issues!
Why the hell does he need a "commission" to tell him that raping and sodomising children is a crime against humanity? 
That  destroying their lives and the lives of many around them  is evil.
To tell him that he needs to throw out all of the pedophiles and colluders he is protecting, and hand them over to the laws of the many lands where  they have committed their atrocities? 
Well, the answer is simple: It is a time wasting , face saving typical piece of bullshit. 
The clergy Survivor movement is getting stronger, we are banding together and are no longer isolated. Survivors of clergy abuse are strong people, that strength born out of appalling adversity, and they are no longer malleable and easily stepped on. 
We are closing in on these criminals and like rats  in a trap they are coming out fighting. They are ratcheting up their strategies because we are shining a spotlight on every dark and sinister part of their organisation.
After the unprecedented  and historic resignation of ratzinger, who was so clearly implicated in abuse cover ups.They brought in a  politically savvy smily faced Argentinian, who  promises to feed the poor , posing with babies at every  photographic opportunity.
This is simply  his latest and rather clever next PR stunt. 
He says he will gather "experts" we have no doubt where their allegiance will be.
He says he will consult "victims" we know they will be the vulnerable , still damaged ones who will be selected because of their unfortunate gullibility.
They  will take years over this and stupidly many in the World will applaud his "initiative" 
The only way to deal with a narcissist is to stop supplying the fuel for their ego, to thwart their destructive manipulations and to take the reins out of their hands!!
They CANNOT be allowed to police themselves, they have demonstrated time after time their unwillingness and inability to do so. 
If they had any real compassion or desire to "do the right thing" they would know that this is absolutely NOT the way to show it.
They have to  open up to independent secular scrutiny and be made to adhere to International law.
All  Governments need to show their support for independent public enquiries, and they have to stand and be counted  otherwise they will be colluding with this church who regards  survivors as collateral damage.
Sue Cox co- founder Survivors Voice Europe