Sue Cox

Sue Cox

Thursday 28 July 2016

Martyrdom







An elderly priest was murdered in France and the pope talks about his horror and pain.
"We are especially moved because this horrible violence took place in a Church, a sacred place in which god's love is announced, with the barbaric murder of a priest and the involvement of the faithful,"  the vatican's statement read.
This was followed very quickly by the bandwagon being pounced on by cardinal Nichols et al saying that we now have to make churches the priority for security.And the inevitable talk of"martyrdom" 
  Now let me be very clear,  I am also absolutely horrified at the death of this  elderly man in such a  cruel way, whether he was a priest or a road sweeper, as I am with all of the acts of terror that we are witnessing at present. It is a dreadful and meaningless waste of life. My heart goes out to everyone affected, and like everyone with a heart, I have cried buckets over them 
But be very very careful.
This is exactly the sort of act that will bring out the desperate need for "martyrdom" that the catholic church does so well.
When I was a child I honestly believed I would be called upon to be a martyr! Not the perpetual doormat kind that whine  a lot and we all cringe at, but a real "suffer intolerable death for your faith " kind of martyr. I had it drummed into me that this may very well happen! 
It was a time when catholics saw themselves as a persecuted minority, and actually revelled in a sort of perverse elitism.
I was very unwilling to die for my faith, but as a little girl, I lived in fear  of my impending "martyrdom" and also of  what would happen if I didn't  offer my life up for the faith!
It is an appalling  attitude to life, that precious thing that does NOT belong to some whimsical deity, but to ourselves, each one of us and is so brief and magical.
The catholic church is already reeling from the revelations in recent years and the spotlight on their narcissistic organisation. 
I don't ever hear expressions of "horror or pain" with the hundreds of clergy abuse victims who have taken their own lives, or have died as a result of the distorted life path that their abuses have forced them on. Or have simply had their lives destroyed.
Are they delighted that this murder has happened? Well I sincerely hope not. But there is a real danger that they will use this perceived martyrdom to their advantage, to try and detract from their own many failings.
If, as is often said, childhood clergy abuse is "assassination of the spirit"then the sheer volume of the church's abuses makes their crimes akin to genocide.
 So please do resist the urge to see this dreadful murder as anything other than what it was - a shocking and wicked act, and the latest attempt to wreak terror among us all, certainly no worse than the cruel deaths of so many (including innocent children)  in Nice and Munich and  everywhere else where these evil terrorists find an opportunity to kill. 










Monday 4 July 2016

Support group~?



On the radio this morning, I was asked to comment on the news of  the formation of a "victims" club by three famous people who say they have been shabbily treated and wrongly accused of historic sexual abuse.
Cliff Richard, Paul Gamboccini and Neil Evans are shown in the papers joining  hands and shouting about the  pain and suffering they have experienced by being falsely accused and "having been found innocent" They want to form a "victim support group" and campaign to get the law changed so that people who are so accused are not named unless they are charged.
So here's the thing:
Firstly, of course I have a great deal of sympathy for anyone who is falsely accused of any crime, I am quite sure it is a dreadful thing to experience. 
In these cases, there was no "innocent" or "guilty" verdict, the charges  were simply dropped through lack of sufficient evidence. Now Cliff Richard is complaining that this is not ok, that there will be a stain on his character, and people will say "no smoke without fire" etc. and although that might be quite unpleasant, it is hardly a case for changing the law. These kind of cases are actually few and far between.
The law is duty bound to investigate all accusations of such crimes, and although in his case there was a mishandled search, and a media frenzy because of his fame, that is essentially what they were doing.
I would have a lot more respect for them if they had said "It was terrible, really bloody awful,and not fair,  but we applaud the police and the judiciary for doing there job"  I suspect people would be less inclined to suggest "no smoke without fire"
Yes,  if they had no charge to answer it is indeed awful to have to go through that procedure, and if the law needs changing then campaign by all means.
The danger of course of NOT naming people might mean that victims of the same perpetrator don't come forward.The radio interviewer said "Well they can come forward after they have been charged" But unless other victims  come forward they may NOT be charged, often such a case may be dependant on others coming forward, and if they don't , then the case may be dropped "Because of insufficient evidence"
However  the worst aspect of it for me is that there is an implication, yet again, that there are armies of people making false accusations about others because they are looking for "compensation", or "publicity" or some other agenda. 
NOT true! Statistically there are very few "false accusations", and they are usually from people who have other problems of some kind, and they are soon wheedled out by the police or the Crown prosecution service. The police and the CPS  know about this subject, they are used to dealing with it, and they mostly do it very well.
It is a source of real discomfort for me and other survivors when I hear this sort of incorrect assumption, usually from people who don't have a clue about child sexual abuse.
The very reason why it takes so long,  often, for survivors to come forward is because of the sheer embarrassment they feel, and perhaps the fear that they won't be believed, or will be smeared, in just this way, who the hell would really want to go through that?
Although I have talked about my abuses a lot, and to different groups, it is still something I cringe at!
It is not great being known mostly for having been abused! 
It is not an image I would have chosen! As soon as I speak about it there is an inevitable image in someones head, and once that image is in there it won't go away- the genie is out of the bottle.I am a sixty nine year old Granny!  I don't relish being seen in that way!  
Of course I am told I had a choice! But the choice was damned if I do damned if I don't! If I don't talk about it, I remain damaged and isolated, and I leave it to others to find the courage. If I do talk about it I am open to another  kind of isolation. I chose to be open about it and stand and be counted for others, but I can truly understand why many simply could not bear it. This may make it even harder.
So in answer to the original question, I fear  that this sort of "alliance" could very easily become a club of guilty people who can hide behind the very few who may be falsely accused.
By all means tell people of your innocence, and fight for your own justice, but a "victim support group"? PLEASE!