Easter Monotone!

I said I wouldn’t get into moaning about religion too much! But it is that time of year again when every time I put on the radio or TV I hear that dreadful monotone voice of someone religious spouting ! If there was a god, I am quite sure he would hate that bloody awful tone they adopt  when they consider they are talking to him/her.

But then I always do find it hard not to be bewildered by such people’s blind obedience to religion,  especially when we see all around us it is so destructive. 

Not just because of the people who have died in the endless wars fought in the name of religion, but by the way it  has deftly succeeded in de-valuing all of our  human life. We only have to see the dreadful killing of innocent people this week by terrorists to be aware of this! But terrorists aren't the only ones who don't value this life. 

I recently went to a funeral that was for a young man who died of a heroin overdose. His Mother who is fiercely religious had that awful “all knowing”  beatific smile on her face often worn by religious  people, and she held it throughout the funeral, and afterwards, told me (with the same beatific smile) that she was so happy that he was with god, that god had spared him from a worse fate.Now I do know that everyone grieves in their own way,with  whatever gets you through the shit. 

But HE WAS 22 ! For F... s sake! he should have been there with his brothers and sisters, with his mates, having fun.  I wanted her to be screaming in absolute anger and  grief that he was not! I wanted her to say how important he was,how special,  how terrible it was to lose him, what a shit deal it all was. It felt almost as if his whole short life was being negated because of the whim of some arse in the sky who didn’t care about the pain that his death had caused, what a gaping hole would always be in his family’s lives.

It is subtle, this blind belief in the hereafter,  it is insidious and it has crept upon us over the millennia, until so many people spend what is such a rare and precious time on earth thinking about the next one! Religion is the architect of such cruel delusions. What a f.....ing waste! 

Theres not a day goes by that I don’t

metaphorically scream in anger and despair that my own son died at the age of nineteen! Of course it would be so comforting to tell myself he is in a “better place” and that I will join him one day. How much easier that would be for me! But I can’t just decide to believe in a fairy story  because it feels nicer! And actually I WANT to shout how bloody dreadful it is, to acknowlege what he has missed and what we have missed about him. Because his life, THIS life was precious and important and valuable and finite. I know we won’t meet again, and if I could just have back the times when I was annoyed with him, or angry , or even "too busy" , then I would give the proverbial limbs. It broke my heart,and it still hurts like F...!

This kind of sinister  fairy tale thinking pervades every part of our society! I certainly wouldn’t want to be treated for a serious complaint by a doctor who thought my life was not important apart from being a proving ground for the next! I don’t want to have my government headed by someone who leaves the major decisions about my country to his imaginary friend in the sky! I don’t want to rely on anyone who thinks that this life of mine or my family is just a trial period!

This boy’s death was a dreadful tragic  waste of a life, and  although, of course, I sympathised with his Mother, and I know that she surely must be in such pain,  I actually found myself wanting to smack her! (I told you that when I think about religion it brings the very worst out in me!)  But what I did instead,  is really look at how I value those people in my life, my children, my husband, my friends,  all of whom will also only have a tiny speck of time  on this planet, and I have had the sheer luck to be able to share that precious time with them. I will not  waste a second of it thinking about some vengeful judgmental bastard who thankfully doesn’t exist!
If I don't manage to get to the radio to turn off that dreadful monotone soon enough, It will tell me that this is a time for "reflection" So I will reflect on this!
 Each one of us is a unique, precious irreplaceable part of the universe, made of stardust and will only have one moment, and THIS is the moment!

Someone told me that if I wanted to be happy I should live each day as if it was my last. I am resolving to  consider that  everyone I connect with might be having  THEIR last day, and so try and make it a great  one!