Sick of being Sick!

Something has happened to me today!. 
Do you know I am just  SICK of it!  Sick of the negativity that constantly  thinking about religion brings out in me! I am Sick of feeling angry, Sick of repeating old news , Sick of wasting these precious  days on irrelevant people . 

I KNOW the score! I know they are duplicitous self engrandised narcissistic liars. It doesn't matter which angle I look at it from, it is always clear! 
So I for one am "moving on"! 
It feels  a bit like when I stopped drinking, I could have spent  my life complaining about the evils of drink, what it did to me, my shame and guilt,  how sorry for myself I was, or I could grab the opportunity of recovery with both hands and get over it! I was Sick of being Sick , so I chose the latter!

So now I have another choice! I could spend my days complaining about the 
r c narcissists , banging on about how abusive the catholic upbringing of children is, how it attracts and protects pedophiles, and on and on , OR I could thank F...  I  am out of it and get on with living  a life that has been saved! 
I spend ages saying how it is wrong to feed narcissists, and then I get drawn in to doing just that!  It keeps me Sick! Constantly fighting them, makes me fight everyone , and  brings out the very worst in me! 
Have I really turned my back on them? or is there still a bit of residual delusion that things might change? NO! Or maybe I still have some post disclosure paranoia? Who knows!   
So today I choose recovery, health, wellbeing, positive growth and freedom, and I will continue to share my skills to help other survivors recover too.

I will work on my recovery, my teaching  and the five star recovery plan for survivors , and not give one more hour to that  negative influence that I have escaped from and left behind. 
When I stopped drinking, it wasn't after a particular drama, in fact worse dramas had occurred many times before that. But I somehow had a "moment of clarity",  not from any "higher power" but from my own humanity. I saw what would happen if I continued, how this would be the pattern forever, and how my family would suffer, how "Sick"  it all was.

 Some people call those moments a "spiritual awakening" but for me it was just an  inherent human desire for something better and for survival that gave me that clear window.

I have experienced many of those moments since, and if I choose to act on them I fair better, am happier, more productive and more useful - ignoring them makes me bolshy and  miserable! It is not difficult to see what is better! 
That wretched church has had enough of my precious time, it took my innocence, my safety, my peace of mind, my security and much of my potential. I do not want to give it any more of what is actually a very  very short spell on the planet.
That is why the "recovery tree" on the

Survivors Voice website was created!So I am going to now going to get on with the real business of cultivating, watering and nurturing!