Sometimes I want to be little again!

  

I have always found the whole "inner child" stuff a little strange and a bit silly. But as with most things that I take a dislike to, I often find the difficulty is with me rather than "it"!
     I have no contact with people I knew as a child really, apart from a couple of very close cousins, certainly no-one from school or teenage years!
Hardly surprising when I think how disturbed I was back then, quite crackers actually! a raging alcoholic self harmer with lots of very dark secrets that I HAD to keep hidden! In those bleak days I sabotaged most of the relationships I had.
I also moved away from my home town at sixteen, and then later made only "duty visits" to my adopted Mother until she died.
But this week I came across the FB page of someone I started school with aged at 5 in 1952! She was a girl I had a lot of very happy early memories about, dancing around her living room to Doris Day songs, signing her plaster when she broke her leg, and generally playing like proper little girls!
     It was a real "blast from the past", and not the dreadfully unpleasant memories that I normally get! And it was lovely! she still looks as pretty as she did then, she was always the prettiest girl in our year, but was also always too nice to be jealous of!      
    We ultimately went to different secondary schools, and our paths crossed only occasionally at college, but my main memories are when we were little girls. 
     I don't know if she ever knew of the mess I was, thankfully I don't think she was ever exposed to it, but she may well have heard stories! 
    We didn't know each other as adults, although I did bump into her once on one of my "visits" about 48 years ago!  
    I have no doubt  she has had her demons to overcome as indeed have I, but I still think of her as the pretty little girl who was my friend, when we were still "sugar and spice and all things nice"!

   I was so pleased to see her name, I dropped her a message which she replied to  straight away. 
    I don't have too many experiences like this, and in fact one of the things that hurts is the inability to enjoy good memories of the past without them being tinged with the bad stuff.
  I am sure she can't know how much that simple connection has meant to me, and I don't know if we will meet  again,  but she gave me back a glimpse of a long lost happy time, before all of the crap, and  for a while I was a little girl again! Wow!