What the hell gives with people constantly telling me I should "forgive" ??
I am pretty sick of being asked if I "forgive" the church, and priest who abused me or the parent that looked the other way!
I am even more sick of the implication that if I DON'T "forgive" them, then there is something dreadfully a inherently wrong with ME!
What a very clever bit of emotional blackmail the church has created here!
What a very clever bit of emotional blackmail the church has created here!
A lady I taught a while ago, said she was worried that I had said "NO" when asked about this, because it was denying myself the release that "forgiveness " could bring, and not allowing others to know that relief! A rampant catholic of course! Head on one side in "Diana" pose, pitying everyone in sight who didn't follow in her enlightened path like sheep !
It is further infuriating when having made my feelings on this matter quite clear the person in question then proceeds to "explain" to me exactly what forgiveness means! seemingly thinking that it is my ignorance that is the stumbling block!
Well here's the thing!
OF COURSE I understand that it is not a good thing to be eaten up with resentment - (the route of THAT word being "sentient - to feel" )
so in effect "re- feeling" what has happened.
That is really quite easy for me to grasp! Of course we do often "re-feel" what happened to us, that is the nature of the abuse legacy, flashbacks occur, and memories are triggered, mostly that is out of our control! But of course I am not going to seek that out!
OF COURSE I know that the best way to get "better" is to find a way of accepting what has happened and to transform it in some way! It is what I have been doing for years!
OF COURSE I don't want to be obsessed with revenge, or consumed with bitterness. My life is too short, my time too precious to waste on those narcissists!
That is NOT my point!
This very concept of "forgiveness" is a church word, and has NO place in my head or my heart as far as they are concerned.
Turn the other cheek! WTF!!
It is further infuriating when having made my feelings on this matter quite clear the person in question then proceeds to "explain" to me exactly what forgiveness means! seemingly thinking that it is my ignorance that is the stumbling block!
Well here's the thing!
OF COURSE I understand that it is not a good thing to be eaten up with resentment - (the route of THAT word being "sentient - to feel" )
so in effect "re- feeling" what has happened.
That is really quite easy for me to grasp! Of course we do often "re-feel" what happened to us, that is the nature of the abuse legacy, flashbacks occur, and memories are triggered, mostly that is out of our control! But of course I am not going to seek that out!
OF COURSE I know that the best way to get "better" is to find a way of accepting what has happened and to transform it in some way! It is what I have been doing for years!
OF COURSE I don't want to be obsessed with revenge, or consumed with bitterness. My life is too short, my time too precious to waste on those narcissists!
That is NOT my point!
This very concept of "forgiveness" is a church word, and has NO place in my head or my heart as far as they are concerned.
Turn the other cheek! WTF!!
But just to look at it a bit more carefully, without TOO much flippancy- I looked up some of the definitions.
FORGIVENESS:
TO PARDON, EXCUSE, EXONERATE, ABSOLVE, ACQUIT, LET OFF, AMNESTY, MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR, FEEL NO RESENTMENT TOWARDS, FEEL NO MALICE TOWARDS, HARBOUR NO GRUDGES AGAINST, BURY THE HATCHET WITH, LET BYGONES BE BYGONES, LET OFF THE HOOK, GO EASY ON, EXCULPATE.
Do any of these words REALLY belong when we think of what this dreadful organisation has done to us and others, the life sentences we have been given?
Do they really think these words belong when people have been traumatised, brain damaged, given shorter life spans?
Feel "forgiveness" for the damage passed down to my children and grandchildren?
And on top of that to have the bloody audacity to pity or patronise us for refusing to enter into this ridiculously nauseous"healing" fest!
NO! NO! NO! I DO NOT - AND WILL NOT
forgive them! What I WILL do is turn my back on them! I will continue to grow and thrive and be happy DESPITE them and to SPITE them!
Do any of these words REALLY belong when we think of what this dreadful organisation has done to us and others, the life sentences we have been given?
Do they really think these words belong when people have been traumatised, brain damaged, given shorter life spans?
Feel "forgiveness" for the damage passed down to my children and grandchildren?
And on top of that to have the bloody audacity to pity or patronise us for refusing to enter into this ridiculously nauseous"healing" fest!
forgive them! What I WILL do is turn my back on them! I will continue to grow and thrive and be happy DESPITE them and to SPITE them!
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