Stick your meaningless apologies!

And while we are on that subject!

Don’t you just get sick and tired of people talking about how brave someone is for making an apology? 

As usual ,of course, I am ranting about the wretched catholic church and the pope in particular who suggests that we should “honour” his predecessor benedict for his courage for apologising to abuse  “victims” 

So here is the thing!

When I began my recovery from addiction many years ago, wretched and ashamed, and frightened, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

It saved my miserable  life and put me on the first wrung of the ladder towards the sober happy life I have now.

I don’t agree with every aspect of AA, I  don’t for example like the  idea of being “powerless” I don’t like the idea that I have no control over my actions.

I certainly don’t have any belief in god or a similar “higher power” and I don’t like the persistant emphasis on “character defects” 

So I eventually had to “graduate” from AA,  But I have been forever grateful for those early days and the lessons I learned from other addicts.

I was told that if I was serious about my recovery, I should “make amends” to anyone I had harmed. I was told that making amends did NOT mean saying “sorry”, it meant trying to put things back as far as possible to where they should have been before I messed them up. I was told it may not always be well received,I may not be "forgiven",  but I should do it anyway,without any hope of a reward, and  regardless of the outcome.

I was told that I should ask “ what can I do to put this right”? and be prepared to do exactly what was needed, within my power, rather than make snivelling apologies.  

I was told that I should take this part of my recovery very seriously. 

I was told many things by other addicts who’s sole desire was to pass on what they had learned ,and see me get well.Their simple compassion saved my life.

It seems that the elevated “up on a pedestal “pope and his followers don’t need such humility , after all they ONLY abused innocent children and destroyed thousands of lives for centuries, and ONLY lied and covered up their crimes. 

They obviously think these grudging apologies should be enough for we ungrateful survivors!

Sadly there are even some victims who have been so downtrodden that even they believe that is all they should expect.

These apologies are meaningless!

An apology should be an expression of real regret, not something that the criminal is “gifting” to his victims!
An apology should mean that you are NOT continuing with the abuse!
An apology should be the beginning of the process of making amends -  not the end product!

Any apology that has to be dragged out of someone after years of denial and refusal to acknowlege responsibility is MEANINGLESS!

Any apology that has to be begged for is OFFENSIVE!

Any apology that we are told we should be grateful for is an INSULT!

So stop your snivelling apologies francis, and learn from the true compassionate human beings like ex - drunks and junkies and start to
~MAKE AMENDS !!!!!!!!!!!