Today is “Mothers day” and as usual I got lovely cards and presents from my wonderful children, and even my grandchildren! So special,so undeserved, and I am so proud of them all.
I guess even more so because they began their lives with what can only be described as a raving lunatic for a Mother! Damaged and dysfunctional, bumbling through like Taurus in the china shop if life, with few parenting skills and the ones I did have were suspect.
I always say my children survived more by luck than good management, and the fact that they are such honourable, happy, clever professional people is a constant source of amazement!
This is not false modesty, these are facts!
When we are trying to get people to understand the severity of the damage caused by catholic indoctrination and clergy sexual abuse, we should be very clear about how OUR damage passes on to the next generation, and even the next... We may well have physically grown at the accustomed rate, may have acquired some academic knowledge, but often our emotional landscape can be pretty bleak!
When that wretched organisation tells us that they have “only the best interests of children at heart” they omit taking into account that this abused child will grow up ,have a distorted view of life, and the sort of parent that abused person might become!
How they churn out “ unexploded bombs” and stand back and say they are not responsible!
One rather stupid catholic woman with ten children once sanctimoniously told me “You know “Our Lady chooses her Mothers!”
Who the hell would wish any child to have an alcoholic, drug addicted, self harming suicidal Mother with an eating problem!
Don’t be bloody ridiculous!
The need to have endless children was always part of being a catholic, it was considered our duty, our “raison detre” and goodness knows I would NOT swap any one of mine! In some obscure way, I thought that it somehow was the ONLY thing I was able to do! but even animals have better mothering skills!
I didn't know my birth Mother, and my adopted one betrayed me dreadfully, so my view of "Mothers" was not one I would want to emulate.But I have met some amazing women who I have watched and admired.
I didn't know my birth Mother, and my adopted one betrayed me dreadfully, so my view of "Mothers" was not one I would want to emulate.But I have met some amazing women who I have watched and admired.
It’s generally considered that this kind of abuse will take seven generations before it heals, and can I well believe it.
We are all a sum total of our genes and our life experiences, and that particular experience is indelible and changes us at the level of our DNA.
I watched with awe my children become the caring considerate adults they are, but I know they have all had their demons to face.
I cannot take much credit for them, but I love them more than my life, and am proud to say they have blossomed without too much influence from that narcissistic organisation that would have seen them as “numbers” or worse, as prey for their deviant clergy.
I won’t be around to see that damage worked out through those generations, but at least I can say that I have started the process! I hope one day there will be NO trace of Rome in my children’s children and that everything we have gone through will make them strong.
My older daughter has two beautiful children, and is a quite remarkable Mother, and My youngest daughter is about to have her first baby and will, I know, be equally amazing.
The healing has begun!
For them, and all my wonderful friends who are Mothers - I send my love and awe!
Happy Mothers day!
My older daughter has two beautiful children, and is a quite remarkable Mother, and My youngest daughter is about to have her first baby and will, I know, be equally amazing.
The healing has begun!
For them, and all my wonderful friends who are Mothers - I send my love and awe!
Happy Mothers day!