Sue Cox

Sue Cox

Saturday, 24 August 2013

There is more to this than SEX!

I am constantly  asked again to "tell my story" - to go over again the details of my abuses. 

Of course that is no more than I expect , when I decided to stand and be counted in this fight against childhood clergy abuse, in order to help others come forward, I knew I would probably have to repeat those sordid details over and over. 
I accepted that as part of what would happen, and somewhat inevitable. 
But I  have to say, again , that childhood clergy abuse is not just about sex ! - it is about POWER- the subjugation of another human being,regardless of where they are in the world.

Although the geography and the details of each one of us survivors may be different , the pain and degradation and the dis-empowerment are  the same.
If we constantly get bogged down in the physical Minutiae of who did what to who, we are nearly always missing the point.
And lets face it, this is exactly what these wretched clergy abusers want, they probably even still get off on hearing it all again! 

It is not particularly pleasant  to know that because I have spoken out so often about this, I am well  known only for having been raped! 
But it is inevitable ,I guess,that if I talk about it, then others immediately have that  image in their head, and once in there, that image  won't come out, that particular Genie is out of the bottle.

But we must keep on highlighting  the true nature of clergy abuse. 
We are now able to show, very clearly,  how the damage to the child is far greater than the violent “sexual acts” of greedy pedophiles, far greater than the emotional,mental, spiritual tramas that follow,the loss of self worth, the disruption of educatrion, the loss of potential etc.
Greater even, than the further abuse from a church that sees us as collateral damage, in it’s pathetic attempt to save face.

Science can now shine a spotlight on the real severity of abuse,  the permanent physical damage to the brain,to the immune and metabolic systems and the further implications of shortened life expectancy!It shows that damage , even at the level of DNA, can be passed on to the next generation, and the one after that!

In one such interview recently, I was then asked if “I hated the catholic church”?didn't I think that it "hurt" ordinary catholics? 
Those kinds of questions, especially from the media, (like the one  I was asked at Easter why we weren’t “turning the other cheek”?) are, I am quite sure,   bait and  designed to make us feel guilty, like we are the ones who are wrong! And I  won’t take their bait.
But I will say this:
 I  know that nothing is ever an isolated incident, everything has a cause and affect, and often there are many   combined circumstances before a catastrophe occurs.
 Wars, for example, are  rarely about one issue, they are often sparked off by one thing ,after years of simmering frustration and rage. 
Nothing will occur without the right conditions.The catholic church creates those conditions.
We are not clones, we are each a unique individual, but most of us have one thing in common, we were in the wrong place at the wrong time,  isolated , and picked off by a greedy catholic priest predator. 
So  it is impossible to talk about childhood clergy abuses without  discussing the environment in which they occurred.
The catholic environment was (and is) very much part of the problem, and provided (and still provides) a breeding ground for abuse.
It is impossible , even, to talk about childhood clergy abuse  without also talking about the catholic indoctrination of children, the culture of fear and guilt, the distorted view of sexuality,  the deification of clergy and the narcissism of the church itself. 
It is like a giant Petrie dish!
They make demi-gods out of inadequates and then protect them when they commit their atrocities.
So in speaking of  this, it is somehow inevitable  for people to be hurt. This is not my intention, nor do I attach any blame to individual catholics, they are  a product of their own upbringing and deluded by a religion based on fear and retribution.  A Church that relies on it’s “flock” to adore it’s clergy, and keep their mouths shut. 
It is their secrets that keep them sick. 

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