Hell in a handcart

I  have been waiting for some kind os inspiration before I talk about the popes resignation, and the latest cardinals scandal etc.etc. etc. 

I didn’t get any! I think my cynicism must get very much in the way of it!

But I  did have one  thought. Inspired by the “amnesty” offered by the outgoing pope to people in Spain who had ever had an abortion. 

This  was this spectacle at “World Youth Day” in 20011 where hundreds of wooden confessional booths were set up in order to hear confessions of the people attending.It would appear also that if they even attended  the day, they would receive a “plenary indulgence” something that would shorten the time “sinners:“ would have to spend in purgatory to atone for their sins! (Priests used to sell these indulgences! but in their newly acquired sense of ” benevolence” they seem to be giving them away!).

In the past, any woman who admitted to having an abortion would be automatically excommunicated, and only very specialised priests were allowed to “lift “ that ban on the women.(hopefully not the ones who got them  pregnant in the first place)

But once again, in the new wave of “kindness” the Pope had decided that if they attended this special mass in Spain, they would be absolved from those sins, and would not be excommunicated! (nothing at all to do with the huge drop in their numbers, or the distaste that people are feeling for their man made narcissistic law of course) It was  a sort of ”special offer” perhaps they they did a “buy one get one free” for people who had more than one abortion,with  a special rate for pensioners or students who are unwaged? It was only on offer for that one day, like all good sales, so if you missed the bus, or got caught in the traffic, - excommunication for you!

But you have to hand it to them for sales drives, this has to take a prize..

 And so I though perhaps we might look at doing a similar pantomime .I am quite sure we would be much better at it too.

We will tell the catholic church that if they “throw out” their pedophiles, and encourage them all to gather in one place ( if we could attempt to find a place big enough, perhaps the Siberian tundra would fit most of them?)   Then we might, (just might) cut them  some slack.

We could have a special rate for people who only raped one child? (or maybe a buy one get one free offer here?) 

Maybe a different rate for abuse that didn’t quite end in rape because the priest couldn’‘t manage it? 

What would we offer for having ONLY had to perform oral sex on a priest while still at school?

If there were several priest lining up to pass that child around like a piece of meat, what price their “indulgence”

How about threatening to kill the child’s family if they spoke about their abuses? 

Should we offer a special “dispensation” for those priests, bishops and cardinals (and popes) who, in their vast wisdom decided to lie and cover up crimes against children for the “greater good” (THEIR greater good)

Where would we fit in the priests who always with an eye to the main chance, abused deaf and speech impaired children, or disabled ones? do they get special treatment too?

And what about the hypocrites? the ones who preach hell fire and damnation, setting themselves up as some sort of moral benchmark for others while they indulge secretly in their own gratification? perhaps cardinal O’Brien should tell us what HE thinks we should do with people like that?

How about destroying a child’s future, their potential, their peace of mind for ever? - green stamps?

Maybe there should be a top indulgence prize for causing children permanent brain damage impairing their immune and metabolic systems, and shortening their life span? Maybe double  points or a trip in a popemobile?

Maybe we should give some sort of credit note to popes who desert a sinking ship in the nick of time before they are made to face their cover up  crimes,  or cardinals who “step down” after they get found out

On reflection I have decided that there is only one thing for them, If I believed in Hell (apart from the hell they put people like me through) Then we will need to take delivery of an awful lot of handcarts.