Feeding frenzy!

After having yet another conversation with someone who is about to embark upon a "fundraising binge" to set up yet another "charity" I feel compelled to shout yet again about what is becoming for me a real Betes Noire! 
In the frenzy to get on top of, underneath or more disturbingly, cash in on the child sexual abuse scandals, there have been a thousand diversions, red herrings, misleading statistics, misunderstandings, lack of support, lack of empathy, indifference and exploitation! 

The abhorrent creation of this  cynical “cottage industry” surrounding these crimes is quite odious, with  “charities” being formed almost daily, mostly of little consequence, and as the survivor world is increasingly suspicious and critical of those who claim  to be “dealing” with this crisis in any kind of effective way.

There has never been a thorough understanding of the effects of childhood abuse, on the part of those purporting to make changes,  nor indeed a real desire to understand. So much easier to adhere to the erroneous  idea that victims are “psychologically’ disturbed, impaired, or unable to think for themselves. That way they can continue to be a disempowered commodity, and for many, a source of income 

There are  a mountain of self appointed  “middle men” who portray  themselves as “champions” and have the “answer’, and the real damage caused by abuse especially by clergy or those in power has been buried underneath this voracious desire to “get a job” and a piece of the pie.

It is with increasing horror that we watch the distasteful and unethical circus, the scramble for “funding” “advertising”  “ambulance chasing”.

Unfounded  opinions abound, diatribes are spouted, facts are distorted, egos are puffed up, while in the entire world there are hundreds of thousands of disaffected people who continue to receive no justice.

The pope and his minions in a  cynical attempt to appear compassionate are  “funding” some of these “charities” ( the ones that "big the pope up" of course!) rather than allow the laws of our lands to haul them through the courts, where they would be made to compensate directly the actual victims of the crimes that they have incubated, perpetrated and covered up. 
Instead they continue to seek, and get,  a "get out of jail free card" which enables the continuation of the thread of exploitation and further abuse. As always -  taking the easy way out.

The people  who run these “organisations” either in in their naivete or greed are taking that funding which ultimately should be awarded directly to individual  survivors, in order to further  fund their operations, which largely consist of  begging everyone for more funding, in a nauseating perpetual merry go round, while the survivors they supposedly support get very little, remain disempowered  and have simply  become a cash cow.

The churches, of all flavours, desperate to get out of  their responsibilities, offer meaningless half hearted  and patronising pastoral “support”  regardless of the fact that they are the very last people to offer solutions when they are in actually  the problem. 

Always with an eye to the main chance to dupe the general public into believing they are actually doing something!

I am calling for all survivors who want to regain their rightful place in the World after being so appallingly abused and mistreated, to rise up and call a halt to this  “trade” by taking back  your power  and being in charge of your own destiny! 

You are a precious irreplaceable unique individual and You deserve better!  

Yes, you may need a little help, perhaps to decide  the right direction for you,  and we will gladly and freely share our experiences and skills, so that  you can harness that exceptional survivor power! 
But don’t accept anything piece meal, don’t be a resource for anyone else or part of someone else’s agenda!

What none of us need is to be abused further! 
Don't feed the vultures!

ENOUGH!

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!

I have just been "half" listening to a group of potential voters talking about whether they would "take their faith" into the ballot box when they vote next month in our general election. 
A lot of them said they would have  to, because theirs is such a core belief  that they cannot separate their faith from their politics. 
Scary prospect to be unable to separate those two unlikely bedfellows!
So I thought about who I will vote for. 
For me it is crucial that church and state are indeed well and truly separated!
I cannot in all conscience vote for anyone who lives their life according to an ancient mythical book, written by middle eastern peasants with an axe to grind.
I do not want at the head of my government someone who believes in angels and devils, and prays to an imaginary friend for help in affairs of state! 
I cannot bear the thought of someone running the country in these precarious times who thinks that my  precious life is only a proving ground for the next.
It is a horrifying thought to have someone who continues to allow the children of our country to be indoctrinated and exploited by religious schools.
A Government who is too afraid to offend ,follows blindly is  weak and lazy. 
I cringe at the knowledge that in our government, they have created a "Minister of faith"! (and what a prat HE is!)
I would be sickened  to continue with a Prime Minister  who actually sent a delegation party to the vatican for "advice"!!!
Of course, I will give it all my careful thought and I will  not  waste that preciously hard won  vote on people who are afraid to think critically or who consider that religions should have ANY privileges! 
 I have to try and believe there are reasonable intelligent unbiased  politicians out there, so will they please start shouting about it so I have a bit of a chance!!

Welcome to the World of religious madness!

Heres the latest documentary from my very good friend Zenek from Poland! It speaks for itself!

The circus is in town!

Well the vatican circus trundles on, I am told that they are already selling pope dolls in New York (made in China of course!) ready for his expected roadshow in September.(Perhaps we should buy some pins)?

If anyone in that city wants any ideas about real antidotes to that particular medicine show, let us remember how we dealt with it in London in 2010! One of my  proudest moments I would say!

And while we are on the  subject of “sick making” antics, I am also told that one “national”  victim groups here  have been trawling abuse lawyers to pay for adverts on their website. You know the one where victims go for help? 

In our opinion, this  is at best distasteful and at worst is exploitative. But then it IS all about money! 

The same group that has no qualms about accepting money from the vatican,ostensibly to help survivors, while touting the idea that the pontiff is not the narcissistic tyrant with a smily face, but really a cuddly fluffy pussy cat. (perhaps HE should take out an advert!) We are not surprised by it but we are still sickened.

It is the very worst kind of incestuous  behaviour, and If any survivor ever asks me for a lawyer recommendation, I, for one, will make sure that I do not recommend one of those. 

I will always discourage any survivor from using anything other than the most ethical services. and that includes going to a lawyer, therapist, advocate, healthcare professional that cares about them, that has a proven record, has codes of ethics and good practice, puts the survivor first, is clear who they endorse, and don’t just see us as a cash cow. 
YOU deserve the very BEST!

Now of course people have to earn a living, and good professionals have spent years studying and countless pounds to get to the peak of their profession, and indeed  they can be the most amazing supporters, and should be handsomely paid for their fight.. I would also love to see abuse lawyers given far more teeth, they will, after all, be the ones battling  the perpetrators for justice on our behalf.

BUT

The minute money starts to change hands in this way, there  is a change in the dynamics and there is an ethical  bias.

People DO need to know where to go to for legal advice, but far better that they are empowered by knowing HOW to find someone with integrity rather than someone who is paying for advertising! 

Also far better to know that the advertising money is not going back in any way into the church’s PR campaign!

We have been grateful to our lawyer friends for their unswerving support, for coming to our gatherings, standing shoulder to shoulder with us, writing helpful generic (free) advice on our website, and we encourage more of you to do so! 

But we won’t pay you and you will NOT pay us!

Shame that these brilliant legals don't see this,and that it matters who they are seen to align themselves to.
 I hate to think of good professionals being labelled “ambulance chasers” but this voracious scramble for a piece of the “pie” is tantamount to just that!

This diminishes survivors and lawyers alike.
We are in danger of becoming just a bloody commodity!

Forget Me Nots!

Wherever I go, in my "day job" I take with me Survivors Voice flyers. They just are very simple, telling people how to get to the website to get help if they have been abused by priests.
I travel all over the country, I teach from one end of it to the other, and I pass a LOT of catholic churches!
I always put flyers in those churches,(although I have to hold my nose and my breath as I go in!)
I pin them on their notice boards, put them in their leaflet displays, I even put them on pews or alter lecterns (if no one is about!)  
When we were  last in Rome, and found ourselves (accidentally I hasten to add !) in a vatican owned hotel!!!!!!(imagine) I removed the "holy" pictures from their  frames in my bedroom and replaced them with Survivors Voice posters. I even posted them through the vatican letter boxes. 
It gives ME a great deal of satisfaction.
But they take the down!! almost immediately(I have checked this out)  they remove them pretty bloody quickly.

Why the hell they would do that has to be the question, all the flyers do is suggest a way for people to get help, the church sure as hell is NOT doing that! 
Any organisation with an ounce of decency would welcome help for their many many many victims!
But of course they don't have that integrity! Nor am I ever surprised, but still I do it as part of  my own two fingers back at  them!

But now I have  a new pastime!
As many of you know, whenever we do talks or attend rallies etc, we often give you packets of "forget me not" seeds to plant on our behalf.We ask you to take a few moments, find somewhere beautiful and sprinkle those seeds. Put them in your garden, in your window boxes, in the fields, and think of us.The more flowers that grow, the more people that know! The more chance for change.
It gives me a wonderful warm feeling knowing these beautiful little  flowers are planted all over the world, Italy, Ireland, America, Poland, Australia etc. with us in mind.
What I am now doing, each time I travel, along with my leaflets, I am sprinkling the seeds all over any church ground I can see! They can't take them off the notice boards, they can't easily see where they come from -  but it gives ME a great deal of satisfaction knowing that Survivors Voice Europe has used some of their shit to grow something beautiful!
What I would love to do now is ask those of you who have planted our little flowers to send us pictures of them where they grow! 
We would love to see them so PLEASE help us spread even more beauty against all that religious ugliness!

Feeling sorry for myself!

I hate "Pity me" stories, and I am loathe ever to talk about my own! I have  a real horror at ever being seen as a "victim", having fought so very hard to be a survivor! But right now I am feeling a bit vulnerable, and when I feel like that I need to talk about it to someone I trust.
Abuse survivors don't trust easily, our trust barometers are completely shot, and we either trust people without question and often that leaves us vulnerable to further abuse, or we mistrust people in which case we can hurt others or alienate them!
I am so lucky because in the last few years I have found real trustworthy compassionate human beings, and they have  all been Atheists, humanists, secularists. 
I get so sick of hearing from religious people that THEY are the "good guys". It is simply NOT true!
I have had a wonderful few weeks, I have been teaching people in my "day job" that have all been brilliant, I have been to Italy to give a lecture about Survivors Voice Europe  in a college there, and also to be with my dear friends. I have been to Poland and spoken in the Polish parliament,taken part in the atheists conference there  and met some exceptional amazing people. 
I get lovely messages every day from all over the World from other survivors and "like minded" people that lift my spirits and make me smile.
I have a great husband, fabulous kids, and three delightful grandchildren.
So what on earth would I have to whinge about?
The answer is of course more of the wretched legacy of the catholic church and the abuse I suffered. 
And today it is just really pissing  me off!
I am passionately keen to continue to teach the neuro-biology of childhood abuse, the research to demonstrate the damage to the brain and immune and metabolic systems is damning and the severity of it needs to be talked about more. It is my privilege privilege to be able to do that.
But  often, to provide context, I talk about my own "legacy" from that, and I flippantly say I have nine life threatening or life limiting conditions.
All true, but usually I say it as if it is someone else I am talking about, I don't really "feel" it.
Yesterday I learned I have two more silly conditions, one of which will mean I have to take steroids every day for the rest of my life, and all of a sudden I was "feeling it"!
I am frightened.
So please my dear friends, forgive me for this self -pitying rant! 
Now I cannot categorically prove that all of my ills stem from being abused so badly as a child, but the science tells me that is absolutely the case, and the evidence is very clear. 
I have always seemed to be able to "dig deep" to fight my way  out of a hole, those survivor skills have been honed by adversity!
But today I am frightened.
I will process it of course, and I will come out fighting ! I need to make it count, to transform that shit into manure for a beautiful garden! I need to step up my work and get these messages out to everyone, that way at least it will not have been for nothing.
So if you love me, and care about my fellow survivors, keep sending me those messages, showing me your pictures, inviting me to speak to you, helping me tell people about the truth of these crimes, and stop these tyrants from damaging anyone ever again.
Now I WILL dry my tears and get on with it! 

Poland!

I am just back from my trip to Poland after speaking at the Atheist conference in Warsaw.
I am still having to pinch myself that we actually spoke in the Polish parliament building right in the middle of fiercely catholic Poland!
It hadn't been easy! The organisers headed by the lovely Nina Sankari met with many obstacles but were wonderfully supported by a brave Member of Parliament Wanda Nowicka, who is the deputy speaker.

The sessions held in the parliament had to be re-named   to the "Freedom of speech and Bio Ethics" conference, because of objections of the word ATHEIST by the catholic church!
The conference, however, was truly brilliant, and the welcome I received was amazing.
I had been asked to keep the presentation "personal" I think it would have been more than worrying if I had been openly critical of catholicism, so I had to restrict myself to a personal experience. But it was warmly received and very much welcomed. They are so aware of the rot within the church, and like the rest of the world there are so many victims of clergy in Poland who get very little justice.
It is hard to describe the level of power the church has in Poland, and the blind obedience that is constantly on show. On the trams people cross themselves every time they pass a church,( which is about every three hundred yards.) There is a radio station and a TV station "Radio Maria" broadcasting prayers and services around the clock. There are pictures of John Paul11 everywhere, like a film star,almost deified,  and many schools , roads, buildings,  churches are named after him.
In the main parliament building (like the house of commons)  someone , apparently in the middle of the night, nailed up a crucifix above the platform, and having been put there  it can now not be removed because it is considered "historic".
There were catholic anti- abortionists and anti birth control campaigners in the streets outside the parliament as we went in, shouting abuse at us.
I heard some wonderful speakers all over the weekend highlighting many areas where  religion of many different hues (although in Poland when anyone says "church" they mean catholicism) is interfering in human rights, women's rights, GLBT rights, sabotaging research, all of the things you would expect  from a narcissistic organisation. 
Two main speakers had been stopped from attending, one from the Charlie Hebdo staff for "political reasons" and one from Pakistan was kept so long going through red tape at the airport that he was made miss his plane! Despite that, speakers from  France,The Lebanon,  Germany, Belgium, Canada  were among the contributors as well as Poland.One delightful lady told the story of being sacked after many years as a teacher, of 40 of her colleagues, previously friends,  turning against her -  her crime? to take down a crucifix in the staffroom of her school!
In the session named "Bio ethics" Professors  of genetics, anthropology, philosophy etc.   from various universities presented their experiences of religious interference in education and medical research.
On the second day there is a "secular" march from the statue of Copernicus to the old town square where they re-enact the execution of a 16th century atheist who was tortured and killed for saying there was no god. Everyone dresses up and although it is a good natured humorous event, it is also a very clever and significant  play.

As we marched silently with our balloons and banners, we were attacked by groups of catholic louts, young people who had been organised to create havoc on the march. Singing and screaming abuse telling us we were all going to Hell, they were really quite alarming. There were young women who were part of the group, and I don't think I have ever witnessed  such hatred in anyone's faces. To my surprise, however, the Police actually moved the loudest of them away!
Some then  infiltrated the march with a banner saying "Hell exists and we are praying for you"  
Two men  carried a huge religious banner silently praying all of the time, as if they were in the presence of the devil!
Because of the drip drip drip of intense brainwashing and indoctrination there is huge catholic paranoia, they seem quite  incapable of understanding anyone  that has a different point of view. Freedom of conscience and expression is still a long way off from being accepted here.
Some of the marchers thought the attacks were funny, and I am sure that is the best way to deal with them, but as as someone who has already been abused by the catholic church I found myself feeling vulnerable and abused again.
I came away realising how lucky we are in countries where free speech is not only tolerated but is celebrated, where although the catholic voice is venomous, it is at least "small" and I felt a close affinity to the wonderful atheists in Poland who will always have  a big place in my heart!