Sue Cox

Sue Cox

Monday, 4 July 2016

Support group~?



On the radio this morning, I was asked to comment on the news of  the formation of a "victims" club by three famous people who say they have been shabbily treated and wrongly accused of historic sexual abuse.
Cliff Richard, Paul Gamboccini and Neil Evans are shown in the papers joining  hands and shouting about the  pain and suffering they have experienced by being falsely accused and "having been found innocent" They want to form a "victim support group" and campaign to get the law changed so that people who are so accused are not named unless they are charged.
So here's the thing:
Firstly, of course I have a great deal of sympathy for anyone who is falsely accused of any crime, I am quite sure it is a dreadful thing to experience. 
In these cases, there was no "innocent" or "guilty" verdict, the charges  were simply dropped through lack of sufficient evidence. Now Cliff Richard is complaining that this is not ok, that there will be a stain on his character, and people will say "no smoke without fire" etc. and although that might be quite unpleasant, it is hardly a case for changing the law. These kind of cases are actually few and far between.
The law is duty bound to investigate all accusations of such crimes, and although in his case there was a mishandled search, and a media frenzy because of his fame, that is essentially what they were doing.
I would have a lot more respect for them if they had said "It was terrible, really bloody awful,and not fair,  but we applaud the police and the judiciary for doing there job"  I suspect people would be less inclined to suggest "no smoke without fire"
Yes,  if they had no charge to answer it is indeed awful to have to go through that procedure, and if the law needs changing then campaign by all means.
The danger of course of NOT naming people might mean that victims of the same perpetrator don't come forward.The radio interviewer said "Well they can come forward after they have been charged" But unless other victims  come forward they may NOT be charged, often such a case may be dependant on others coming forward, and if they don't , then the case may be dropped "Because of insufficient evidence"
However  the worst aspect of it for me is that there is an implication, yet again, that there are armies of people making false accusations about others because they are looking for "compensation", or "publicity" or some other agenda. 
NOT true! Statistically there are very few "false accusations", and they are usually from people who have other problems of some kind, and they are soon wheedled out by the police or the Crown prosecution service. The police and the CPS  know about this subject, they are used to dealing with it, and they mostly do it very well.
It is a source of real discomfort for me and other survivors when I hear this sort of incorrect assumption, usually from people who don't have a clue about child sexual abuse.
The very reason why it takes so long,  often, for survivors to come forward is because of the sheer embarrassment they feel, and perhaps the fear that they won't be believed, or will be smeared, in just this way, who the hell would really want to go through that?
Although I have talked about my abuses a lot, and to different groups, it is still something I cringe at!
It is not great being known mostly for having been abused! 
It is not an image I would have chosen! As soon as I speak about it there is an inevitable image in someones head, and once that image is in there it won't go away- the genie is out of the bottle.I am a sixty nine year old Granny!  I don't relish being seen in that way!  
Of course I am told I had a choice! But the choice was damned if I do damned if I don't! If I don't talk about it, I remain damaged and isolated, and I leave it to others to find the courage. If I do talk about it I am open to another  kind of isolation. I chose to be open about it and stand and be counted for others, but I can truly understand why many simply could not bear it. This may make it even harder.
So in answer to the original question, I fear  that this sort of "alliance" could very easily become a club of guilty people who can hide behind the very few who may be falsely accused.
By all means tell people of your innocence, and fight for your own justice, but a "victim support group"? PLEASE! 

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