The biggest “con” of all.

I am always on the look out for the big “lie”. That, as I have said many times before, is a legacy from my abusive past, and a result of my trust barometers being set to “hyper-vigilant” and thankfully so, that was my survival instinct kicking in, and saving me from further abuses.

I grew up with all of the veneers that were expected of someone who should be “seen” as a “good catholic”, regardless of what one actually did! It seemed that nothing was really as sinful as being seen to be less than superior to everyone else who had the “misfortune” to NOT belong to that church!

But as I came into a real recovery, when the veils were one by one lifted from my eyes, after the wasted years of being  in the grips of this narcissistic organisation, and spending  years trying to make sense of my existence, I have come to understand that the biggest CON of all is the religion itself!

There is no greater marketing trick than taking something that is freely available to anyone and everyone, claiming it, branding it, re packaging it  and then selling it back to them  to make it appear more valuable!

A bit like taking  the air that you are free to breathe and bottling it ,telling you that it can’t be bought anywhere else and then selling it back to you!

I am specifically talking about the church’s ludicrous claim that they have the monopoly on “Goodness” that they are the keepers of morality! 

I have lost count of how many times I have heard deluded religious people say “Without religion we would have no moral compass, there would be rapists and murderers everywhere”! WTF! 

To say this is insulting is an understatement, but it is nothing compared  to the ruthless cleverness of that almighty CON!

Human beings ARE a benevolent species, it is our natural inclination to be altruistic,  that is part of what it means to be a human being with empathy and shared concerns.

No church of any flavour ever gave us those desires, NATURE did that, evolution did that, and science explains it! 

Not only have they tried to claim it, brand it and repackage it to sell it back to us with threats and fear tactics, but I would go so far as to say that the church actually stifles our natural ability and inclination to do the right thing!

Their man made rules and dogmas, their distorted  attitude to all things sexual, their greed and desperate need for power flies in the face of the altruistic human being.   

That is,  I think the biggest con of all! 

I am so grateful today to have  thrown off the shackles of that slavery and can spend what is left of my life knowing that I am made of stardust, that I am a unique and irreplaceable part of the Universe and that it is not only easy to be “Good without god” but it is our true nature as  human beings.

Mine wasn’t an easy road, for many years I was desperate to “belong” - another natural desire for a human being, and one which the church has used to enslave people for millennia.

Who knew that it was all there for the taking, I DID belong all the time to the HUMAN RACE!

Giving Tuesday

It was "Giving Tuesday" apparently yesterday, I know that because I had several  impassioned "requests"  for money from survivor groups. 
Now I do not  intend  to criticise other people too much, (people in glass houses and all that!) but I have to say I do wonder about these organisations- what do they actually DO with the money? I know they employ paid workers, and travel all over the world, usually asking anybody and everybody to fund them!  I know they attend conferences and rallies while other survivors send out begging e mails to fund a "survivor's healing" (albeit with a good heart I am sure)
Maybe that is ok with people, I don't know, but I know it is not the way I wanted to contribute.
When I first talked publicly about my abuses, and decided to be a part of the battle for justice for others, I looked all of the existing "charities" It occurred to me that I might be able to help in some way, so I wrote to offer some help.
Most wrote back to me quite quickly and said they would welcome my help - so "What can I do"?-
"FUNDRAISING" fundraising fundraising - that was the only thing they were interested in!
I am told by one that "they could help more people and their families" if they "had MORE money", they could do more work if "They had MORE money" 
It is always the cry "We would love to help but we need MORE money" 
If you go on to the victim websites in the UK the first thing you will be hit with is "welcome to our website" "you are not alone" -  but we need MORE MONEY" ! 

On being asked what the papal commission was going to DO? the token victim who is part of that fiasco said "I don't know - but I have told them "We will need MORE MONEY!" and of course they will probably get it! because throwing a few crumbs to these charities is a whole lot cheaper than actually making proper amends  to survivors, and will certainly give the churches a veneer of benevolence  an  appearance of concern!
Now I am not against money in general, I have to earn a living like everyone else, I also have a few "pet" causes that I try and support, and I have a great deal of admiration for other people's hard work, but I wonder why it involves so much "begging"?
WTF! happened to compassion?
What happened to helping fellow survivors or just fellow human beings because it is the right thing to do? 
What happened to being part of a movement for change, for good, for justice, just because it is the honourable  thing to do? 
Why do these "middle men" need to exist at all if they cannot do so without "MORE MONEY"? Money taints the whole cause for justice.Victims become commodities. 
When I first got into recovery from addiction, I did it with the help of AA, and although I ultimately had to graduate from that fellowship, I am eternally thankful for its members  saving my life. This is a fellowship which has MILLIONS of members, has been responsible for saving many many lives, and  has grown throughout the World from very small beginnings despite the fact that it absolutely REFUSES any money  from outside its ranks, insisting on  being  "self supporting through our own contributions" Obviously there were those who could afford to give more than others, but they all did what they could  out of gratitude.
In fact we always felt privileged to be able to give back to newcomers  a little of what we had received from other recovering addicts. 
Yes,  there were phone helplines, yes there were meetings and literature, yes,  there were ever more people in need, but there was great dignity in taking responsibility and providing for these things ourselves!

The minute that money and prestige enters into the arena they become the main agenda, the driving force.

"Charities" that may have started off with good intentions (one would hope so at least) simply become absorbed with keeping their "business" going, rather than the people they purport to help. 

And in the mean time the churches et al will spend millions on expensive lawyers trying to fight every survivor's case - often to the death !
Apart from  all of this, WHY would  people want to  deny survivors the dignity of being self empowered? Our dignity was cruelly taken from us  and has been  hard to regain, but is even harder from the standpoint of ALWAYS being a victim, always on the receiving end. We have survived and we actually have a lot to give!
Of course in the early days of any kind of recovery, we may need a leg up, a helping hand maybe a shoulder to cry on or a champion of our cause,  some more than others I guess, but why would any survivor want to continue to have someone else "speak" for them when they have fought so hard to have their own voice? And why would any organisation want to keep survivors disempowered if not for their own needs.
Now I know absolutely that as the old adage says "it is far better to give than to receive" and scientific research  will bear that out, we know that we get an abundance of "feel-good" chemicals when we are shown kindness, but it is also a fact that we get far more, in fact a positive avalanche of them when we give to others!
Why would anyone want to deny a survivor that 
pleasure? that elation? that humanity?
As clergy survivors,  we do not have the monopoly on suffering! There  are many others who badly need help, and the best medicine we can have is to GIVE to them, to causes that are as needy as ours instead of competing with them for the little money that people can spare. And as we get stronger - then take great joy in  giving support  to each other, without constantly asking for "MORE MONEY"!

That way we might even make every Tuesday "Giving Tuesday"