Thank you for all of the beautiful flowers!

I was 67 yesterday! Thankyou all for the lovely birthday  messages! 

I cannot believe I got to this age, although that is more about the mileage than the number of years! 

Sometimes when you think about sending a birthday wish to someone, you may not be sure it is welcome. or needed, or indeed seen! Is it just a throwaway gesture, a duty, or a piece of trivia?

 I can tell you that  for me those messages are more than incredible!

Because for an “alien “ like me, who spent so many years not wanting anyone to know my story or see me as I really am, keeping all those secrets hidden, and bumbling along  like Taurus in the china shop of life, never really belonging anywhere, it is amazing that the thing I wanted to keep a secret for so long is the very thing that has made me so many incredible friends!

 I had messages from all over the world! some from people I don't even know! That is the power of survivor connections, and indeed connections with other decent likeminded people, who,ironically,  I might never have known had I not started to talk about my abuses! 

 I still don’t relish  the idea that I am pretty much known because of being raped, or being a recovered addict! But I have to say, that the people I have met because of those facts are probably the most solid and amazing people in the world, and I may not ever have known them! 

The thing about shit is that it does make great manure! Having had a load of shit dumped on us we have a choice- we can either wallow in it and be miserable, or transform it into something wonderful.

So because of all that shit in my life, I now have a beautiful fragrant colourful garden of wonderful friends ! 

(Today was the first sunny day we have had for a while, so I spent a bit of it lying in a hammock in my garden and thinking about you all.Wishing you could all be here and enjoying it with me! )

XXX