Will I ever stop crying?

I wonder will I ever stop crying?

Once again, tonight on the news, another  catholic institution, this time a “prestigious” Benedictine school in the Highlands of Scotland has been exposed for it’s systematic sexual and physical  abuse of boys by clergy spanning three decades (I suspect at the very least).

The BBC presented a “special” report into the allegations, complete with the usual horror stories,victims facing the camera and hardly knowing how to put into words what they had suffered at the hands of the priests.

Describing how they went to sleep crying every night, after having to kneel down and say prayers with these monsters!

The cover ups and the lies, the  criminal priests being shipped off to Australia,to be put in charge of children again! 

And the obsequious apologies form the head of the Benedictine order here, who said he was "shocked" to hear these things could possibly happen in their order. 

SHOCKED!! 

Why the fuck would he be shocked? Where has he been for the last fifty years? on Mars? Does he not recognise the pattern? he should, because it is the same disgusting treacherous pattern that is replicated all over the World, in every country where this wretched church has its tentacles, wherever there have been innocent children and predatory deified self- aggrandised clergy who have defiled more people than any institution in history, and STILL abuses them .

Every time I hear of yet another case, another “special report” it is like a knife going into my heart. 

Of course, each time one of them is exposed I rejoice,  but for  every one of these creatures, there will be at least a hundred affected people, either abused themselves, or damaged so badly that they effect those around them. That damage going on to the next generation, while the criminals walk away , probably with a pension from the church, to be looked after and “ shown compassion” as they reflect on their sins while in “prayerful contemplation”

Every time I see another exposure,I cheer at a crime being punished.But my heart is breaking for what my fellow survivors will carry with them, probably for ever.

Will I  ever stop crying? I suspect not.

ShouldI  ever stop crying?  certainly not. 

For all the attention given to these “special reports” these seven day wonders, there will be hundreds of people who’s lives will continue to be destroyed by the very people who were there to care for them.And every time I hear of yet another, I will cry.

Why the Fuck isn’t the whole world crying?