This year has been a busy one, culminating in tthe wonderful Survivors Voice weekend in Rome at the end of October, always life enhancing, and inspiring to be with other survivors .This time dancing in front of the vatican's eyes! seeing the wonderful Survivors Voice Lanterns lifting into the Roman sky as we cheered and clapped, was awesome and a memory I will treasure.        

 Made me feel quite reflective talking to others and hearing once again more tales of abuse and neglect. Being asked more or less the same questions over and over again, "what do you think the Church will do" "what do you think needs to happen" "What should the Pope do" etc.etc. 

        So here is what I think..

 Since talking about my abuses I have experienced many reactions, From so called christians I have been at various times,doubted, ignored, dismissed, patronised ,avoided, lied to. I have seen abuses, compounded by the further abuse of lack of compassion, I have seen people brought to their knees with anguish, shunned, and trivialised.  I have witmnessed tears and anger frustration and depression.I have heard horror stories from all over the World from the victims of catholic clergy.  From the church I have seen lies, compounded by more lies, excuses, duplicity, and narcissism.

      What I have never seen, is what most human beings are capable of giving freely and with graciousness  - is simply KINDNESS! the simple human kindness that one craves when feeling that ones whole world is collapsing. Kindness that is talked about endlessly by the very church that is incapable of giving it or even feeling it. The kindness when you feel anothers pain and want to relieve it in some way, when the least you can do is offer  a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on, and you do it willingly and gratefully.

When I first talked about my own abuses, the overriding need that I had was that of a warm blanket being wrapped around me and to feel safe at last.It didn't happen, and the fact that it didn't made my pain more acute again. 

   I am a tough woman, some say I have a hard edge, and that may be so. I have had a very tough life, I have always had to fight, and that life has left it's mark. But as survivors we know that toughness to be the facade that has allowed us to survive, to struggle from the burden of guilt and shame and nightmares that somebody who was supposed to be " beyond reproach" made us carry. the reality is a little different. There is fragility there, there is a tightrope we walk between sanity and death.

When I have told my story and that of my friends to secularists and humanists --What I have seen is empathy --what I have seen are tears! tears for other Human beings who are in pain. 

A natural and compassionate response that eludes catholic apologists and  it tells me so much .catholics  tell me "it's not like that"  ! Well if  It looks like a lettuce -it tastes like a lettuce and it is green -- chances are its a  bloody lettuce.

So as my own Prime Minister now has lost the last of his marbles, I am so thankful for the non christian compassion I have witnessed  and continue to be grateful for.

  

WTF!

(In the words of the modern day text.)

 Just when I imagined that the catholic church could not be any more appalling in their bigotry and narcissism, we hear from "Fr." Gabriel Amorth, who apparently is the vatican's "chief exorcist" with, he boasts, 70,000 exorcisms under his belt ! Speaking at a recent conference on "people and religion", Amorth ,who lists his favourite film as "The exorcist" (no shit there Sherlock! )  Has in his sights that dire and wicked of human satanic practices - Yoga ! It transpires that practising this "dark art"  will lead people to Hinduism, one of the "terrible eastern religions"  that are based on "false beliefs"(unlike his own common sense religion!) And will wind us all up in hell ! It is, he says, nearly as bad as that other wicked satanic practice of —  "reading Harry Potter books!" —  "They both lead to magic, which leads to evil."  His advice to young people is to "watch out for nightclubs-because the path is always the same: alcohol, sex, drugs and satanic practices"  Unlike his own religion which is based on arrogance, bigotry, narcissism, grandiosity ,fear, shame, guilt, and subjugation of human beings.

The same religion that harbours and protects pedophiles, responsible   for the rapes and sodomising of innocent children, that  lies to uneducated people about condoms, condemning many of them to death, is one of the richest organisations in the world, does not pay taxes, and yet tells other countries that their economic problems are due to greed!  The same religion that holds itself up as the moral benchmark for the rest of the world, while disregarding the laws of every country it has it's tentacles in. The same religion that ,scarily, our Prime Minister says he looks forward to a closer co-operation. with!! Like I said at the beginning

WTF!!!

Sue Cox Survivors Voice-Europe

Sue Cox - diary of a recovered catholic: Open Letter to my Prime Minister!

Sue Cox - diary of a recovered catholic: Open Letter to my Prime Minister!: Dear Mr. Cameron, ...

Open Letter to my Prime Minister!

Dear Mr. Cameron, 

                                                                                                           

                  YOU SLAPPED MY FACE!  

 

    Why on earth would you do that to me?  You injured and insulted me! What on earth drove you to do that?  We have never  even met! 

    

  I am a hard working, tax paying grandmother , proud to be British, having worked hard all my life, brought up six children, all now highly qualified professionals who are now also 

contributing massively to the good of the country, one of them even serving his country in the armed forces. It seems that counts for very little when you saw me as a target!

                                      And why did you  think that I was a fair game? Am I a criminal?  Did I give you a good reason to stab me in the back?

 NO !-you deemed it necessary to insult me because I am the survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a catholic priest! Because I was raped as a child by a man in a collar , you kicked 

me! You insulted many thousands more in our country and beyond who, like me, have suffered intolerable abuses by these "men of god".

 

  My deaf and speech  impaired brothers and sisters in Verona, all sexually abused by priests in their childhood, one man by 16 priests! You slapped THEIR faces too!

 You slapped the face of my wonderful friend from Rome, who escaped the clutches of the medieval "Opus Dei", complete with marks from the Celise he had to wear around his leg, and the 

scars of his abuse and maltreatment. 

You slapped the faces of my Irish, Dutch, Italian, German, Spanish, Colombian, African brothers and sisters, who were also appallingly abused by these tyrants. 

You saw fit to slap the faces of all gay and lesbian citizens of our land, decently contributing to our society and rarely showing any signs of aggression! It seems their dignity  has offended you in some obscure way too! 

Perhaps the wonderful Stephen Fry ,who dares to be such a tremendous  ambassador for us all has offended you ? Because you certainly slapped HIS face!  

You slapped the faces of every woman in the land ! —  so much for the  comments you made to the UN-  

"Let's be clear, you can't build strong economies, open societies and inclusive political systems if you lock out women"

 Well, you just blew it! You stabbed us in the back and insulted every woman in our country!

You slapped every  one of our children and the future generation of children! 

How did you do that?    How COULD you do that?  EASY! 

You made a stupid, crass ,ill conceived , snivelling, obsequious statement regarding the  anniversary of the pope's visit to  England!

And I quote :

"One year ago, the landmark visit of Pope Benedict, gave millions of British Catholics an opportunity to celebrate their faith, while sharing a powerful message with everyone in our country about the importance of compassion, tolerance and justice.

"The Pope's message is just as relevant today. The shocking riots in the UK underline that we need more than ever to build a new culture of social responsibility and develop strong and powerful communities as we deal with tough economic challenges.

"We should be proud that Britain's generosity is saving the lives of millions in East Africa and countless others affected by disasters across the globe.

"I am deeply proud of the enormous contribution people of faith have made to our society and look forward to our ever closer co-operation between the UK and the Holy See as we work for the common good."

What planet are you actually on? What on earth are you talking about? Which bit of twenty thousand people marching through the centre of London in protest against this ludicrous 

visit did you fail to grasp? Let us look at this " shining example of virtue " that you feel we should be looking forward to "closer co-operation" with!

TOLERANCE ?

Tell that to all our wonderful  dignified gay and lesbian citizens!    As this man flew into OUR country last year he said  "Homosexuality is as damaging to the World as the 

 

destruction  of the rainforest" ! Great example of tolerance there !

COMPASSION  !!!! WHAT ? 

Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of abused people who were treated like fodder for these greedy criminals! 

Tell it to the people who are still, some of them  at the end of their lives, fighting this narcissistic tyrannical regime for justice, when they are faced with a church who sees them as simply

 "collateral damage"  spends a fortune on spin and legal rangling, to make absolutely sure these victims of their violations go to their graves without ever having their abuse 

acknowledged or  amends made! Who's first line of defence is to call them liars! A regime that flatly refuses to acknowledge its responsibility towards these people, and shields and protects 

the priest perpetrators! 

JUDGEMENT!!! I despair!! 

Tell that to every single person who has the audacity to ask for justice from this 14th century  autocracy! A regime which tells us it has its OWN laws! and refuses to adhere to the laws of 

every country,that its tentacles have  infiltrated. Even the criminal laws!  They have made sure that they only acknowledge "canon law", where the pope is the only person allowed to 

control  any punishment, all  of which will be  derisory and insulting! 

Look on our website, see the videos of the wonderful people from Verona, Alaska, Ireland ,America, England, see how they feel about  vatican  "JUSTICE!"

And as for Africa!

Where the pope, in his ignorance and arrogance, LIES  to   uneducated people by telling them that not only is  the use of condoms is  a sin,resulting in them burning  to hell , but they  

will  and will actually further the spread of HIV AIDS , condemning many of them to death! 

Is this REALLY the justice we want to look forward to emulating!

As the Italian people face huge economic crises, is it JUSTICE that they have to pay every single expense for the vatican? Last year they had to fork out 6 million euros for the vatican's 

water bill!! Ask them how they feel about the vatican's justice!

Now I have two questions about the slap on my face:

 Do you really BELIEVE this rubbish that  you churned out?

Or was it a throw away comment for the benefit of whoever you were trying to impress?

Either way I have a real problem! If you really believe this, then I am profoundly worried about the future of our country!

What on earth possesses you to say that we could gain anything at all from any co-operation with this regime? 

Do you not remember when this tyrant came into our country last year he said he "was flying into a moral wasteland" ?

Who's side ARE you actually on?  Do you honestly believe that decent British people are not already capable of the highest standards in Justice, Tolerance and Compassion?

Are you REALLY looking towards this appalling organisation  which sets itself up to be the moral benchmark of the World, while refusing to clean up its own back yard?

If it was a throw away remark, then you have shown nothing but a profound disregard and disrespect for many  thousands of people and have  caused much pain, an extremely  

worrying quality for a head of state!

I never in my wildest imaginings would have thought that I would have my face SLAPPED by my Prime Minister.

After we  all recently marvelled at the courage of Prime Minister Enda Kenny who  showed real balls and told the truth to his people about the vatican's sinister and narcissistic nature, 

you chose to make such an ignorant insulting statement which makes me feel that my beautiful country, land of hope and glory, is going to hell on a  handcart--and you Mr. Cameron 

are in the driving seat. 

                                                                                                                        SHAME ON YOU !

Sue Cox Survivors Voice Europe

www.survivorsvoice-europe.org

DETAILS ABOUT THE SECULAR EUROPE MARCH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOXl-KFWlMk

Please watch and consider joining us at the March in September.

The man behind the grill.

   So it seems that the church is now upset at the suggestion that a priest who sexually abuses children, and who "confesses" his sins to a fellow priest, should not be allowed to rely upon the ancient, long guarded, sanctity of the confessional!
 I pondered this situation a while, wondering what genius thinks that it is acceptable to offer a criminal that kind of immunity, before realizing of course, that, given the attitude of the church thus far, I could expect nothing else.
      But then I am afraid that the whole issue of the confessional has a very sinister undertone.
      Let us consider, a little, the "confessional”; the idea that every single catholic, from a very early age, usually about six, should go regularly (preferably weekly) to confess every "sin" they had committed,  "in thought, word and deed" in the hope of forgiveness. They had already been told they were born "sinners" and would have to spend their entire lives atoning for the sins of countless generations before them, right back to "Adam and Eve"
 Never missing any "sins" out  (sin of omission!) for fear of further damaging our eternal souls. (God knew every thought you had anyway, there was no hiding place).
Failure to do this, and to die when not in a "state of grace " i.e. with "mortal sins" on your soul, unconfessed, would result in immediate dispatch to hell, for all eternity.
We were told there was no "sin" so small that we shouldn't confess it, or too big that we wouldn't be forgiven, if we were truly sorry. If we were not sorry it didn't count, and off to hell we would go, pretty damn quickly.
There was a "sliding scale of "sins" some worse than others; "venial" sins weren't so bad, they just got you a bit of time in purgatory if you died with those on your souls, but mortal sins, those against the ten commandments, were the ones you had to watch out for. They would warrant hell fire and damnation, unless you confessed them of course, in which case the slate was wiped clean again.
There’s no doubt that getting something off your chest to someone you can trust has always been a helpful and ancient discipline, to enable you to consider what you can change about your behaviour, and to lighten the load a bit. But I do doubt the confessional is really the place to do that!

Is it a place of safety for vulnerable children to bear their innermost guilt ridden thoughts?
In the light of what I now know, I shudder at the thought of who was on the other side of that confessional grill as each one of us, as innocent children, charted our misdemeanours having been told the priest was just there to represent god, and could never repeat our "sins" to anyone else.

How many of the legion of pedophile priests have masturbated behind that grill as they listened to the little boys tell of their early "fumblings" behind the bikeshed? 

How many of them salivated as little girls described  " I get a tickly feeling in my knickers if I touch myself father”. How often my child?"  Would he have liked us to tell us more details?

"What did it feel like? Let me show you something.....”.
 " I had three "impure thoughts father"  
" go on....."
"I looked at some dirty pictures Father"
"Thats terrible, where did you get them from?"
"I showed my willie to my friend Father" 

."I looked up a girl's skirt".........

"I think I might be gay father"

Did they get an erection under their cassocks as they watched us kneel in front of them, at crotch-height, at the altar in our innocent little white dresses with veils for our first communion? (Having confessed all our "sins to them the day before". 

Perhaps they were driven to near frenzy when they heard our first faltering realisation of sexuality?  And all behind a grill; private, inviolate, impenetrable and safe.

Is the confessional where we were first singled out?  Where our future potential was decided? Where the weakest of the wildebeests were cornered?
Was it there where they discovered who's parents would be disinclined to discover their crimes? Which children were badly looked after, which one was very good at keeping secrets?

"Bless me father I told somebody of another's secret?  "That is a terrible thing to do... say three hail mary's" and don't do that again. Secrets are sacred, you and I have a secret don't we?
 
Which child was obsessed with being good, terrified and guilty, obsessed with the church itself, in awe of the priest? And they knew each one of us. They knew the innermost secrets of every person who sat behind that grill, who was having an extra-marital affair, who owed money to the taxman, who perhaps shared their own sexual proclivities! That kind of power is ripe for abuse.

I remember after my abuses, I was, thereafter, taken twenty miles away to confession, maybe in the fear that I might say something about my rape and my voice might be recognised? Even though the priest in question had moved on. This is NOT the place to bare your soul, certainly not a place to entrust your children to.

The catholic church has always been obsessed with the "sins of the flesh", rather than being concerned about real damaging traits like, disrespect, unkindness, cruelty, dishonesty, greed.
They have spent centuries trying to "clean up the world!" Even missionaries who were sent to other countries were "expected to convert" people from their heathen ways, (the carnal ones, that is.)
They didn't take spirituality to those people; they already had that, they adhered to nature’s laws and respected the world around them. Unfortunately their sexual behaviour didn't suit the catholic churches distorted, "elevated " view!

As children we were made to sleep with our arms crossed over our chests, "so you don't touch a "dirty" part of your body"! I had an Aunt who bathed in her underclothes, and then removed them and changed them under her towel, so as not to see her own body! I wonder if she caught a glimpse of her own genitals did she have to confess that?

I was asked to pray for a cousin of mine to die because he was about to embark upon marriage to a divorcee, and his Mother, my Aunt, was told by her priest that he would be better off dead than living in "sin." So we all knelt, including her, to pray for a "happy death" for him. I was five.

We still are hearing what the "celibate" pope feels about birth control, abortion, HIV-Aids, homosexuality. Don't you think, a little like in the playground, those who don't play the game don't get to make the rules. I would further suggest that before the catholic church holds itself to be the moral benchmark for the rest of the world, it tries to practice some humility and clean up it's own back yard.

When I think about the hundreds of times I was made to go to confession as a child, at the same time as   I was being abused by one of those 'holy" men, I feel physically sick, repulsed by the whole imbalance of power, the immunity of the pedophile behind the grill, the many children who may still be being singled out in this way. I know of no other organisation that has so many people under its control. With that level of power, sick mind games, and manipulation, I am not in the least surprised they see the confessional as "sacred"..... to them! 
 

STOP BLOODY APOLOGISING!

I am constantly bemused by the idea that survivors of catholic clergy abuse are in desperate need of "an apology" from the pope, or from his minions.

Practically every time I am asked about this subject, by the media, or anyone else, they ask me "when do you think they will apologise?" 

Practically every time their PR machine answers any accusations, they tell us that the pope has "apologised"!

Why the hell does anyone think that "apologising" is of any value? 

Apologising is what you do when you accidentally bump into someone on the tube, or your child kicks a football through your neighbours green house! 

Apology is NOT what is needed when people have suffered the worst betrayal of body and trust, when their whole lives have been blighted by  serious criminal acts.

When they have sustained PERMANENT brain damage from the traumas surrounding their abuses, when their potential has been impaired, and when their families, friends, communities, have also been damaged by the effects of these criminals.

Apology is NOT sufficient, or appropriate when explaining why there have been so many lies and cover ups  by the church.

Apologising is an INSULT, it is further abuse, and is not required or acceptable .

 STOP bloody apologising!

Show some humility, take a good look at yourselves and hang your heads in absolute shame.

MAKE AMENDS!

I don't know why I am still amazed by the audacity and duplicity of the catholic church. I refer, of course,  to the announcement that because of the pope's visit to England last year, more sexual abuse "victims" of catholic clergy are coming forward to the NCPC !!!! 

 I am further astonished to hear   the myth repeated that "one of the first things the pope did when he arrived was see victims"! 

It seems that because of the "avuncular" pontiff, victims are assured that they will be taken seriously! You bet they will, it is very serious for this narcissistic tyrannical regime to squash and quieten as many Survivors as they can!! This pope is guilty of covering up abuse cases which are  crimes against humanity.Damn right it is serious.

Their sick PR stunts get worse, and more outlandish every time they creep from under their rock to  grab the headlines ,seing an eye to the main chance as Premier Kenny of Ireland at last showed what leadership is all about!

Let us get this all quite clear!!!

The catholic church does NOTHING to help survivors of their pedophile clergie's crimes. (unless you count praying with them and washing their feet!)

They duck and dive, lie and deflect, blame everyone else,from the pornography that is available everywhere, to the gay community (they do a particularly nice line in "Victim blame")

They refuse to comply with the laws of ANY country where they are being taken to task, seeing themselves as beyond the law. (they have their own they tell us)

 When they are forced to answer to the law, they use every loophole, every delaying tactic possible which often ends up with the very damaged victim being further abused.

They appoint profoundly unskilled  and biased people  from their own ranks to head their" Child protection" service, (Like putting Dracula in charge of the blood bank) 

They use every occasion to spin their face saving bullshit, and smile as they do it.

 IF there is an increase in  SURVIVORS of these people coming forward - since the pope's visit, then it is because  there were 20,000 people standing up to be counted,, and marching in protest through the streets of London -Dedicating that march to the survivors of abuse by the catholic church. It was because ordinary decent British  people came out in their thousands to tell survivors LIKE ME that they are with us and they are repulsed!

I was priveleged to  be the first person to speak at that rally. I looked out at the sea of warm compassionate faces, and they made me proud, and they made me BRAVE! Brave enough to stand with other survivors from all over the World and scream at these criminals  -- ENOUGH! Brave enough to be in Rome in October and scream  ENOUGH to the Vatican, Brave enough to stand with 65 deaf and speech impaired fellow survivors  in Verona, who were all systematically abused by catholic priests in their childhood in the institute where they were supposed to be being cared for (one man by 16 priests!) ENOUGH!!!

Brave enough to tell other survivors, come and stand with us and gain your power, do not allow these criminals to abuse you any longer.

It was the the Secularists the Humanists the Gay rights organisations,The Human rights fighters , the Women's rights organisations, Geoffrey Robinson, Peter Tatchell,Richard Dawkins,   and the  honorable BRITISH people that gave me that courage, and if there is an increase in the survivors of these creeps coming forward, then PLEASE put the praise for that where it is due! Not at the perpetrators of these crimes.

We have seen this week Ende Kenny, tell it at last how it is in Ireland, there is a man with real balls ! It is time that other government leaders  followed his example, time for David Cameron and the Australian , Canadian, American, Polish, French, Spanish, German ,Dutch, Italian leaders to show their balls too.

Ratzinger and his heirarchy simply don't have any.

Sue Cox 

Survivors Voice

Europe.org

    Well we very much congratulate the wonderful stance taken by the Irish premier Mr.Kenny!!
 We are all amazed and delighted at his insight and support for those of us who have suffered at the hands of the priests of the catholic church. What a speech - brilliant! We thank you Mr. Kenny for your bravery and integrity.
It is hight time the vatican's stranglehold all over the World is broken, so now we would encourage other state leaders to follow Mr. Kenny's brave stand.This is a global problem, and one which the church refuses to amend.
I heard them reply that  they are "ahead of the state in terms of creating safeguards to protect children" , and that on paper may appear to be true. BUT you ask any survivor! anyone who ever has to deal with them, and they will tell you that this is simply a paper exercise on the part of the church, and never translates to the treatment of REAL people, it is laughable.
To promote their own ranks to deal with this issue is RIDICULOUS, like putting Dracula in charge of the blood bank.
They have demonstrated time  after time their inability to address the real issues, delaying, diverting, ducking and diving!
They very simply, DO NOT CARE!
The investigations and safeguards MUST be secular! there is now other way to ensure the truth.
Mr. Kenny has  shown real balls!
Now Ratzinger perhaps you'd like to show yours! (I won't hold my breath!)

Survivors Voice is now busy with our annual event in Rome! Saturday 29th October!!! Put that date in your diary!
Don't expect protests or marches, or candlelit processions -- we are all done with them! they don't work, the Vatican sees them just as a minor irritant, they dismiss them by  lying  in their reports,  the general public feel powerless to do anything so they tire of hearing our stories,  and we come away feeling frustrated.
When we held our first event in Rome last year, it was the same weekend that the Chilean minors were rescued. We were all delighted, of course, as was the whole world.But as I looked around the wonderful brave survivors gathered in Rome, many of them who could not even speak or hear, and all of them having been abused by Catholic priests in their childhood, I wondered who was celebrating their survival?-my survival!
The answer of course was no-one! Despite having survived from the worst betrayal of body and trust, despite being impaired by years of overwhelming burdens, despite having our entire lives polluted by greedy protected pedophiles, there was no one there to wrap a warm blanket around us and say"THANK GOD you are ok"!
That day we vowed that we would be there to celebrate those survivors! To rejoice in their saved lives and help them restore their potential and take back their power.

So in October we will be PARTYING!! in Piazza Castel St.Angelo, directly in front of the Vatican, there will be music and dancing, and maybe some surprises. we will rejoice in our recoveries, and those to come, and the Church is NOT invited! they have demonstrated time and time again their lack of interest in us, and that dismissive attitude has disqualified them from being a part of our restoration.If they turn up, they will be ignored!
There is NOTHING in the World more powerful than the shared support of others who have had their lives damaged in the same heartbreaking way, but having found strength and solace in each other!
Help us beat these criminals! Help us help others!Help us celebrate!