WHY?

After finishing a conversation on the phone with someone who wanted me to teach a four day course in one day! I find myself pondering her question:
 "Why do you need to give that  amount of information?"

And indeed WHY?  should  always be the question! But NOT in this context!  

I do get really fed up with skimming the "surface" training, treatments and interventions, doing as little as necessary rather than as much as possible.Trying something randomly to see if it works, like throwing mud at a wall to see if it sticks!

Also I get fed up with people keeping hold of knowledge, that would profoundly help others, creating a sort of "elitism" and disempowering people further.

Many  want to keep the "magic" to themselves, so that others are bound to seek their help, and become dependent.They know that  often people are  looking for  a "magic bullet", a one off fix that will make everything alright, and every time something seemingly new comes along they will cling to it for dear life. 

They will soon realise, of course,that there is no such thing, and if there were any kind of magic wand we would all be waving it and every one would live happily ever after! Would that were so.

That is the reason we have always gone into everything we teach in great depth, We are not "training"  performing seals, we teach adults with many existing skills, who really do need to know WHY we do what we do.The skills we teach are not  party tricks, but valuable adjunctive treatments, so we should not only be clear about their efficacy, but also be able to  explain exactly WHY. 

When we teach it shouldn't be to hear the sound of our own voices, but because we understand and can evidence WHY we are saying what we say.

More importantly, we CARE very deeply about the eventual recipients of our teaching,the addicts, people dealing with a mental health issue, and survivors of sexual abuse, all very close to my heart. They deserve the very BEST, not  "that will do".

Survivors of abuse already have difficulties surrounding self worth, having had their self esteem destroyed by their criminal abusers. So they will often settle for second best, grateful for any small crumb thrown at them, all of those meaningless "apologies", the derisive compensation, because they feel that is all they deserve. NONSENSE !  They deserve the very BEST. 

Addicts and people with mental health conditions already feel lower than a snake's belly in the grass, the very last thing they need is to be made to feel less important than those helping them!

These damaged wonderful people are increasingly seen as a commodity, a "cash cow" , a never ending supply of vulnerable people to be used by organisations to keep those organisations in work!

There's no doubt it certainly would be easier to just show people "how" to do something rather than tell them WHY they are doing it! But it would be  exploitative and lacking in integrity, and MY students, their clients, and MY fellow addicts and survivors of abuse must  not to be disempowered any further.

Knowledge needs to be shared properly otherwise we create that dreadful "elitism" that for me has no place in this area of work.  
So although we welcome, these days the media talking more about "statistical propensities" "Vulnerability to damaged immune systems" and "shortened life spans", it simply is NOT enough.  

We will always go a bit deeper, as deep as we can, to explain exactly what happens physically to make these stats a reality  and teach exactly WHY!?

www.battleoftheabusedbrain.website
www.suecox.website
www.smart-uk.com

Out Of The Shadows

I don't watch this very often, because it still makes me cry when I see my beautiful friends heartbreak.But someone asked me to send it to them, and I had to watch it.I decided to post it to send my love to the people in it and so that I can keep these crimes in the minds of everyone in the present and so that these crimes are not forgotten.

Today is the day!

My adopted Mother didn't ever say anything much of any great wisdom, in fact I could count on one hand anything of real value! She did have  a wealth of clever sayings though, thrown out on a regular basis, usually religious in nature, but nothing of real consequence.
 

One thing that she always did say, whenever things went wrong was "In a hundred years from now it won't matter to anyone!" It used to infuriate the fuck out of me when things felt as if they were disastrous!

Now however,  looking at the length of time it has taken to charge people like Pell, and at the way the catholic church has dealt with, (or rather avoided dealing with) childhood clergy sexual abuse  for decades, I am  wondering if they all have mothers who have been telling them the same thing!

I can't help feeling that they are "playing for time", waiting for those of us who have been fighting them to die, (we are all getting older!) and then this duplicitous narcissistic church will be able to re-write history, in their usual deceitful manner!

I remember going to Rome for the first SV occasion in 2010, there were many of us there, some of us still pretty vibrant, some of course older, but most of us "able bodied" to a degree!

The following year, at our meeting, there were more walking sticks and walking frames visible among us! We were still full of the joy of being together and although we could still dance in the shadow of the vatican, a lot of us found it harder.

The year after it was apparent that some of us were missing, and a few of us could no longer actually dance, march or even walk!

The following year I nearly passed out because of the heat at our meeting in Verona, and only managed half the event.


Last year I didn't make the journey at all because of being unwell. (I am much better, so I will be back soon!) Not everyone will be able to be back unfortunately.

They have shortened our life spans already by their abuses, then cynically exploit  our shortened longevity and vulnerability to further delay their  responsibilities! 

They see us an an "irritant",and they KNOW we will spend even more of our shortened lives trying to get justice for ourselves and future generations.

This is what happens, we are only here for such a short time, and It will always have to be people with passion that are able to continue the a fight.

That is  why NOW is so important, to hell with these "commissions" and "investigation panels", they are just designed to delay!

It is why we need to perpetuate our experiences with things that will last long beyond our shortened days.

It is why films like "Spotlight" and Gary's film "Basta" and even our own "Out of the shadows"  are so important, they are solid testimonies, and will last longer than we will.
Some of us also are able to ,write about our experiences, these are all crucial,to create an archive of facts and warnings, in the same way as testimonies of slavery and genocide.  

Otherwise the next generation of abuse victims, (and of course there WILL be  a next generation, while ever this narcissistic power hungry predatory church exists) may have to start re-inventing the wheel, and so it goes on and on.

I suppose I am so conscious of all of this, having reached (amazingly) my seventies, and with a myriad of health issues. So my legacy will be my writing, if I manage to stay around to actually finish my book!
The point is that there is no time to hang around! It suits a narcissist so well, as we continue to feed their insatiable ego! and then one by one we die trying to bring them to book! 

So if we feel we may have something to contribute, Don't delay! "BASTA" is the word and TODAY is the DAY!