There's a lady who works at the shop and garage near my house, and she has a bit of a reputation for being "grumpy", people say she can be fine one minute and then reverts to a terrible " bad mood." She has always been very nice to me, and she just loves our dog, giving him treats when he passes and coming away from her counter just to play with him. But I have seen her be really crotchety with other people on occasions!
Yesterday I called in to buy something and she noticed the tattoo on my arm and asked me what it says? I told her it was the name of my oldest son Nicholas who died. She filled up with tears and asked me what happened to Nick, and so I told her about him, then she said "I know just how you feel, my little boy was killed when he was six, he ran over the road to get his football and was run over" Then she told me "It was thirty five years ago, and I still cry for him every day" and of course I told her that I did the same.
I was so sad for her, but more than anything it made me realise how easy it is to make assumptions about people, that EVERYONE has a story, none of us are unscathed by life, and on the days when she is feeling "grumpy" she is probably only JUST holding herself together and is full of grief.
I wanted to go back and take her some flowers or something, but it felt as if I would have been patronising her, but I hope there might be an occasion at sometime when I can do something to make her feel better.What I WILL do is learn the lesson, and remember who taught it me!
I am often "grumpy" when I am in a lot of pain, I find myself snapping, and then feeling bad about it! I am very lucky that I have lovely people around who make allowances for me!
There have been times too when I have felt just a little embarrassed about my tattoo! especially when someone has commented about my being a "bit old" for one, perhaps thinking I was going through an "old age" crisis! But I had done it to remind me every moment of the day about Nick, not that I need anything to remind me, because he is never far from my thoughts. But one of the last things Nick said to me before he died was "I am very proud of you Mum" and I did not deserve it. The tattoo on my right arm means that every time I do something with my right hand I see it, think of Nick and I like to think it makes me do things better, with him in mind.
So if you se a grumpy old woman covered in tattoos don't make assumptions about her, she may be going through hell and perhaps just needs a smile.
